Diari ku..

538th post

2010-10-16T22:38:00.000-07:00

Guess what? Laptop's back! Internet's back! Hehehehe! And it's been more than 2 weeks that we've stayed at aunt's house and staying here isn't bad afterall, it's not what I expected it turned out to be. I thought and was afraid that history tends to repeat itself. But on a second thought, people do change. Maybe aunt changes for the better which is a good thing. I hope she's not up to anything in the future and hope there aren't any grudges held among us. Let's hope all of us under one roof here will be lively and cheery as always. :)

Anyway.. -looks the picture below-

Tell me, who doesn't know this used-to-be really sweet and lovey dovey couple here? Truth to be told, I've been a humongous fan of Erra and Yusry for over a decade. I've become a huuuge fan of them ever since I was really really young. Back then when I was in my primary school days. One thing that I'm certain about : Whenever they appear on tv or whenever I play their vcds, they undoubtedly make me smile. :)

Apparently I do like it when both of them acted in any movies. It's because of the strong chemistry between them(including their body language towards each other and the intensive eye contact that they exchanged) and their superb acting. Mcm ape org2 melayu ckp, dorg sentiase cocok kn. Hahah. My most favourite part that captures my heart is especially when my favourite top-notch movies which they acted like in Mr.cinderella, Kuliah Cinta & Hingga Hujung Nyawa..they never fail to make me have this overwhelming feeling in my chest that actually led to the presence of tears. I really find the story plots and the acting sweet & heartfelting. In fact, I enjoy watching all of Yusry & Erra's movies including Cinta Kolestrol and you-name-it-all. As and when I get bored and it reminds me of them, I'll always tend to play their vcds all over again for umpteenth times because I solely swear that I never get bored of it.

Not only that, I also like their involvement in music industry. Believe it or not, I grew up listening to all of Erra's songs through my entire childhood even up till now. Her songs are great. She sings well. She acts well. She's gorgeous. She's my idol. And as for Yusry, I enjoy listening to most of KRU's songs. They're just so evergreen. :) And not to forget, Yusry's voice & his cool personality is pureee melts! I also looove it when they sing duo songs too. Aww.

And of course, I totally find it heartbreaking when they had already divorced a long time ago, since Tuhan tk mengizinkan. And frankly speaking, I seriously hate those people way of perspective thinking that Erra is such a big flirt just because she's been married twice in addition with her past ex-boyfriends. Like wtf they're thinking? They didn't even know the reason as to why Erra & Yusry were divorced in the first place. Surprisingly, I knew. So when I found out about it, I was utterly astonished. But I believe that jodoh pertemuan terletak di tangan Tuhan dan hanya takdir yang menentukan segalanya. No matter what I hoped the best for them and their future.

And it seems that through this entire post, I've been babbling about Erra and Yusry. Well this goes to prove how big of a fan I am towards them. To Erra, congratz on your first child who's a baby girl. May your marriage with Engku Emran last long till eternity. :)

To Erra and Yusry haters, (yes there are), I'm sorry for being harsh, but just go and get a life okay?

To Erra and Yusry, no matter what happens, you've always been my all-time favourite couple even if both of you are no longer together. :)) ♥

Sincerely,
Your number 1 humongous fan. ♥

P/s : I effing love my current blog song and the video so much. <333

537th post

2010-10-05T05:59:00.000-07:00

Took an EPT supplementary exam in the afternoon just now because I failed that module which involves with dnt-related thingy like soldering and stuffs. Believe it or not, I totally suck in it and always flunked badly because if you know me well, I'm not the practical type and more to theoretical sort of person. I'm seriously not freaking good in this module where my soldering always went haywired that I've never even lighted up LED in my whole poly-school-during-the-1st-semester life. And I kid you not, it's so bloody frustrating that it makes me wonder, why does EPT even exist in my life? Why does it make things hard for me? -rolls eyes- & just now when retaking the EPT exam, I screwed up badly until the lab supervisor shook head because my connection and everything went wrong. I was so ashamed of myself and the only thing that I could respond is "FUCK. UGH, FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKK!" in my heart. & Surprisingly, I was like the only person in my class who failed EPT. And I really felt like breaking down because I've given my best and 100% effort into this ass module but to no avail. So.. being confident that I'm gonna flunk again this time round, I asked the lab supervisor, what if I still fail this module again? And he replied I'm gonna have to retake the same module again next semester. Sigh.

Seriously I just can't wait to get this pathetic module done and over with! EPT SUCKS. EPT SUCKS. EPT SUCKS! UGHHH _|_ I just can't wait to look forward to the part where I'll be taking modules that have got to do with capturing and editing videos, which is maybe on 2nd year. And the most exciting part, broadcasting which I'm gonna learn on the 3rd year! Goddd. I sooo can't wait. But first, I have to complete and pass my EPT before I can learn all those modules. -__- Seriously EPT is the first ever subject that makes me so fucking extremely pissed off! Yes, it really is! When will I ever pass EPT? Just when?! God, help me, will you? :'(

So anyway, I wanna tell you guys there's a high possibility that I won't be updating my blog for about 2 weeks because my laptop has been sent for repair yesterday and will be getting it back prolly the latest in 18th. So now, I'm using Fadli's laptop to update my blog but we're stealing someone's else wireless network to surf the internet because their internet has been cut off today due to not paying the bill. -___- Yes, what luck. Both things happened at the same time. And it's kinda difficult though having to steal people's network because there's no signal most of the times. Sigh.

& I gotta go since I wanna watch Jelita now. Can't get my eyes off Bayu! hehehhehe. Bye readers! (:

536th post

2010-10-02T05:46:00.000-07:00

My family & I have officially rented our house for 2-3 months until we get further notice about the selling of our house. Now we're staying at Aunt's house in Yishun and in spite of that, Aunt seems to be dissatisfied about us in such a way that the presence of us here caused a huge burden to her. But patience is all we need as we tolerate her crap. I guess if this kind of stuffs still carry on or gets even more worse, we won't hesitate to leave this house because what's the point of staying with her if she's unhappy with us staying here. And it's as if the way she behaves seems like we have caused her a lot of trouble, despite her with her family staying our house for 7 months but yet, we don't even complain about her presence(not even a bit) because we know her pitiful condition and we really sympathise with that. And now when it's our turn, just 3 days of staying in her house already feels like a prison to me sometimes, I swear. It's not that my parents have paid her the rental money or whatsoever stuffs. THEY PAID FOR A REASONABLE PRICE. Yet, it's like she's controlling everything here. An example, whenever I want to use the internet, I need to have her permission or something. And it's like, when we use a bit of the electricity, she dares to be calculative. Didn't she forget when we used to help her A LOT the time when she stayed in our house during her difficult times and despite all the hardships in my house like her being too fussy and even use too much current, but are my parents being calculative? No, not at all. Instead they try to be an understanding person and help her as much as they, or even us can. But now, when we're in hard times and need help from her, she's not being sincere & appreciative at all. So is it right for me to say that my aunt bagaikan kacang lupakan kulit? Let's just see how things go for the rest of 2 months plus. Sigh.

You don't know how I've been feeling nowadays. I feel fucked up. I'm fucking pissed off every minute. Everything that I just talked about, that's just not it. There're still other reasons whom I didn't tell. They're just personal to us. And I admit that sometimes, I do feel stressed upon having to stay at someone else's house. So if you own a house of yours, count yourselves lucky because you'll never know how it feels like being in my shoes where my family and I have to merempat at people's house because of financial problem. Seriously right now, I envy those who still live in their own house. Too much freedom, is the main reason.

Recently Mom told me that even if the selling process has been completed(which will complete around December), we won't be able to buy a new house and stay there immediately because of some new I-don't-know-what rules applied by HDB. Instead, we've to continue staying at someone's house or another alternative is that the HDB will give us a house through BTO(Bill-To-Order) something like that. In which we'll share a house with a group of strangers whom we don't know at all. So which means we'll be getting a new house, our own house in a looong time. Prolly 8-9 months' time, I guess. I seriously don't understand HDB new rules. Sigh. Well, saba je laa fifa. Mungkin ade hikmah disebaliknya. Mungkin aku ngn family aku susah sekarang. Mane tau, nanty dlm few years' time, hidup da senang siket. Da mewah. Nnt ble aku da strt keje, mayb aku ngn family dpt ddk pat condo ke. Maner laa tahu eh. Hahah. Insyallah. (: Nie smue ujian dari Yang Maha Esa. & Things do happen for a reason.

So.. believe it or not, it's already 5 in the morning and it's rainingggg. I'm friggin' sleepy already and I need to have some sleep right now. Guess I won't be using laptop that much these few days. Will update my blog again when I'm able to. And, before I go, there's a confession which I wanna make, or rather which I've often made. A reality which no matter how hard I try to run away from but still can't. - And that is.. I'm always missing this guy here whom I first laid my eyes upon.

By the name of Nabil Khan Bin Shah Khan.

535th post

2010-09-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my parents' 19th anniversary and as a result of that, I gave them lots of surprise. (: Apparently before this, my parents or even me have never celebrated their anniversary at all, and yes, this year was the first time that I organized everything just for my parents anniversary celebration. First thing in the morning, the delivery guy came and delivered the photo cake which I ordered to my house. I went to Prima Deli in Tamp Afgan last Thursday to order the 1-kilo photo cake. Since Dad likes durian and Mom likes vanilla, I decided to choose both of the flavours. Though it costs me 50 bucks plus, the cake there is undoubtedly delicious and spongy! Yumyum. (: So anyway, this is the photo cake that I mentioned about..

My parents look so sweet together in this picture, huh? Awww. :)

And then another surprise was held at night since in the afternoon we had to go to Aunt's house in Yishun because aunt and her family had already moved back to their house which they had rented and stayed in our house for 7 months. So we did stuffs like helping them clean their house a bit and carry the heavy boxes. Staying with them for 7 freaking months under the roof had given us a lot of patience to go through and obstacles to overcome.. And now it's our turn to stay at their house in Yishun for I-don't-know-how-many-months. I hope we're gonna get our new house soon. The selling process is like taking a long time to complete. Sigh. & YES, WE'RE ALREADY MOVING OUT TOMORROW. Am gonna help pack everything by tonight. Only God knows how heavy-hearted I feel having to leave this house.. :'(

So anyway, celebrated at night yesterday. and guess what I brought my parents to? CASH STUDIO KARAOKE! Mcm tk biase pulak eh. Ape lagi, melalak pat bilik karaoke 3 jam beb. Started at 9pm and ended at 12+ am. & Besides singing solo songs by our own choice as usual, I told my parents that I request for my parents to sing best 3 duo songs in my list since it's their anniversaryyyy. Heh. First, Erti Cinta by Last Minute. Second, Dua Insan by Ezad & Eva. Lastly, Jangan Pisahkan by Deddy Dores & Mayang Sari - my favourite song sang by them ever. :)

We were singing and singing until.. I don't know why, but, halfway when I sang "Yang Lebih Kau Cinta" by Fauziah Latiff, emotions got the best of me. In other words, I cried.. Yeah, pathetic much. It seriously was so humiliating and it was like the FIRST time having to shed tears while karaokeing IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS. Fuck. Till my parents were shocked seeing me in that condition and then Mom said, "teringatkn kekasih lama agaknye la tu. nie mesti ingatkan si N." I was weeping silently while closing my face with the pillow because I can't bear to let my parents just stare at me crying. At the same time I just couldn't hide or control the tears because it feels like sadness really overwhelmed me until I wasn't able to take it. And I was like weeping till second chorus..where I continued singing until the end of the song despite tears streaming down my cheeks and swollen eyes.. Honestly, that song by Fauziah Latiff is very touching and the lyrics are seriously meaningful and deep. Indeed, I can't get over you. At all.

On another note, I felt happy because everything went great and most importantly is, my parents had lots of fun during their anniversary. :D Though I'm already broke now and already have less than 10 bucks in my wallet because I've spent over a 100 bucks just for my parents. 50+ bucks -> cake. Another 50 bucks -> Karaoke. Despite being broke, what matters to me the most, is that my parents enjoyed so much. Alhamdulillah. :) I just want my parents to be exceptionally happy, that's all. Their happiness is more than a gift to me, I swear. :'))) To Mama dan Papa, Effa doakan semoga Mama dan Papa panjang umur, murah rezeki, dan semoga perkahwinan Mama dan Papa kekal hingga ke akhir hayat, insyallah. I love both of you so much. Sincerely, your daughter. <3

534th post

2010-09-22T09:54:00.000-07:00

Since I'm free and decomposing from boredom, I'm here to update.

As of 28th/29th/30th September onwards, my family and I will be renting out our house for 3 months and my parents are still contemplating on which one of the 2 options to choose. The first option - on whether to stay at my aunt's house(the aunt whom I mentioned that she and her family are currently staying in my house for 6 months and next week, they're already moving back to their house) in Yishun on maternal side. & second option - my dad's friend house. As a matter of fact Dad's been knowing his friend for years before I was born and his house is situated at Bedok North. Apparently it might be better if they pick the second option because of the distance in my school. And frankly speaking, not only me who has this kind of perspective, but my parents' too, in such a way that we can't stand aunt's mouth. She's loud and bitch about people, and one of them is ME. She bitched a lot about me when my dad and I stayed in her house for 3 months during the last 2 years, and up till now, though I already forgive her I still can't forget the incident. And up till now, she still backstabs and bitch about other people to my Mom, and all I do is not to care. Sigh -shakes head-

Anyway.. After when we've already stayed at their house for 3 months which is until about December-coming-January next year, my parents have decided to sell this house(well, it's already on the process of selling it) and we'll be moving out to (most prolly) a much smaller house as compared to our current house. I hope the house that my parents are gonna buy will be somewhere in Bedok or near my school so that it'll be easier for me to go on a transport to my school. Apparently my parents have to do all these because of financial matter. If it were not for that reason, we would still stay here in our current house which is seriously beyond magnificent.

Speaking of which, I'm so gonna miss my beautiful house which my family and I have been staying for more than 9 years. I'm gonna miss the memories, especially my cousins who used to stay here. Firstly Kak Yah, and then Arwah Abg Opet, and lastly, Abg Man and together with my beloved cousin, Abg Mimi. And they're all blood siblings. The memories that I shared with them, in this house, can never be forgotten and will always be reminisced, cherished and treasured. ♥ On top of that, I'm gonna miss everything in this house, #03-448 at Bedok Reservoir. From bedroom to living room to kitchen and particularly, the bathroom which can be said as my most favourite room among others. I seriously love bathroom in my house so much. I don't know why, but of all the rooms, the bathroom is the one which totally looks appetising to me, I kid you not. It seriously looks beautiful and wonderful in my eyes. Heh.

Seriously, I LOVE THIS MAGNIFICENT HOUSE A WHOLE BUNCH! To an extent that I can't bear to lose this house, I swear. But well, things change, circumstances change. It's okay to me, even if it means having to move out. As long as I sticks with my family through thick and thin, it's totally fine with me. And all of these is what I call ordeals, which whether we like it or not, we've to endure it with patience.. Let's hope things will go smoothly in the future. Hope God is by our side. Insyallah.

The other day when I listened to Warna, the song "Takdir And Waktu" by Mega randomly played on air. As I was listening and as usual tangkap feeling time tu, I was hugging my pillow and staring at the wall while reminiscing back the memories. As soon as the song ended, DJ AB Shaik told this to us listeners at that point in time, "amboiii. Bukan main lagi pendengar-pendengar sekalian eh. Bila dgr lagu tadi, feeling2 eh. Peluk2 bantal..amboii. Tangkap syahdu betul!" Seriously why on earth did he know that?! Hahahah! That's what I like about him. He's funnaye, understanding and humble. And that's the best thing about Warna. Jiwang Karat & Rock Kapak songs are often played there. :) Those genres are evergreen, but yet still the best. ♥♥♥

Not only that, besides his extreme sense of humor, AB Shaik's advice and motivational words to us listeners is something beyond meaningful, particularly especially words that are involved with carrying on with life and not to give up. And there's this particular time he made me on the verge of tears because he talked about how big the sacrifice our mother towards her children is.. Seriously, he's the DJ who understands his listeners the most.

And no, I'm not gonna talk to you guys first. It's not that I don't miss you. Yes I miss you peeps. And you ever wonder why I seem to MIA from you guys? I just want you guys to talk me first because all this while I feel like I'm bothering you and be the one who does that. So now, I wanna see, if you guys really miss me and treasure me as your friend, you'd have the effort to talk to me first so that I know at the very least you appreciate me having in your life.

533rd post

2010-09-19T22:22:00.000-07:00

"There'll always be that first true love. The one that never really worked out but you kept your hopes up too much. The one who got away. The one who taught you all you need to know about love. And the one that until now, is still the one you look back to whenever you try to love again."

Anyway, I'm sorry that I haven't been updating my blog that much. As days go by, my laziness in updating blog is acting up. It's not that I haven't been using laptop at all, when for the fact that I've been tumblring and playing games everyday, matter-of-factly. It's just that there aren't any interesting stuffs for me to update for the past 1 week holiday, except for my 3 days' vacation in JB with my family last Wednesday. We went to sleepover at Uncle's house by maternal side for 3 nights and 2 days for Raya celebration. And on the second day, we went to Kota Tinggi air terjun which was really exceptionally fun and enjoyable! It was like once in a lifetime experience. I took lots of pictures of us there and when there's time that I'm not lazy at all, I'll upload them soon okay. :))

I'll update my blog when I'm freeee. Take care!

532nd post

2010-09-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

Current obsession : Listening to Engkau Yang Ku Cinta - Spin which is my blog song now. I guess this song is the best song from his last and latest album before he departed to another world.. Whenever I listen to Arwah Achik's new song, I can feel my heart deeply moved and then I'm on the verge of crying because he, as a singer, had made an impact on my life. I've been a huge fan of him since I was young. And literally all of his songs are the types which are deserve to be listened to. He's really the best. Rest in peace Achik.. :')

ANYWAY, EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVERRRR!!!

WOOHOOOO!

Which means school holiday is here baybehh! Stress freeee! :D :D Seriously I'm feeling so terrifically happy because my holiday starts now until 25th october! I repeat, 25th oct!! It's like I'm seriously having a long holiday for 1 month and 2 weeks! Cool or what? HAHAHAHAHHAH, gosh. I'm so gonna enjoy my luxurious holiday(like again), duh :)

And as we all know, Hari Raya is just around the corner which is like approaching in 2 days' time. Despite that, I never even consider of buying baju kurung or even anything to celebrate Hari Raya this year since in the first place, I don't even have this tinge excitement or enthusiasm feeling because afterall for the previous years, it's just the same old boring Hari Raya surrounding, that is going to grandma's house only on paternal side on the first day of Hari Raya along with my family except for Mom, and we haven't been going to relatives' houses on maternal side for eons because there were some misunderstandings between Mom and her siblings, and yeah, it's been like this for 4-5 years throughout but they're still giving cold shoulder. I mean why can't they just forgive and forget? Sedangkan nabi ampunkan umatnya, kenapa tidak kita kan? Because of that, I can't see my kecohrable cousins from Mak Ngah family. I miss the guys so much. I miss irritating the hell out of them. :(

So.. I'm wondering. What is there to look forward to, anyway?

So Hari Raya is nothing much for me. And from what I know, the definition of Hari Raya in my dictionary is just seeking forgiveness from people who are older than me, particularly my parents... And instead of getting the visitors to eat kuih that my parents had ordered, I'll be the one who's gonna eat kuih mostly by myself because apparently nobody will ever come to my house. And last but not least, watching the upcoming exciting TV shows/movies in Suria. That's what matters me the most. Hah.

These few days, I've been listening a lot of raya songs on radio. But yet, these 2 songs below have always been my favourite ones.

By the way, I would like to wish all of my Muslim friends and semua sedare-sedare Muslim SELAMAT HARI RAYA in advance. May you have a joyous Hari Raya celebration this year and have fun in getting a lot of collections okay. Enjoy yea? :D

531st post

2010-09-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

If we're perfect for each other, and if we're meant to be with each other, we will be with each other. Maybe not now, or tomorrow, but later.. and I can promise you that.

530th post

2010-08-28T22:52:00.000-07:00

Watched this movie with a friend in GV's Plaza Singapura yesterday. And hell yeah, Step up 3D was so freaking awesome man! :D :D Apparently there's various dance types in this movie - from break dance to Tango to hip-hop. but I particularly like the ending of choreography with the skeleton light scenes and oh, the dance off in water! That's my most favourite part. Omggg! Their dancing with that "attitude" of theirs is really top-notch and the stunts are omg, absolutely amazing! SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS SHOULD WATCH IT, NO REGRET! I definitely recommend Step Up 3D to anyone who appreciates dance or the performing arts. And it's definitely worth every penny that you paid for the ticket. Trust me. :)

I love this movie to an extent that I don't mind watching it again. <3

And yesterday was also Ifaaah's birthday. Besides troy, I was also the first person to wish her as soon as clock struck midnight! Hahah. We've been silent friends for about 4 years and I'm glad that our friendship still stays strong. She's one of the most gerek-to-the-core and sporting friends I've come across. (:

529th post

2010-08-24T14:57:00.000-07:00

As soon as the clock striked 12am, I've already wished this Catholic-Malay-Chinese mixed classmate of mine through Facebook and then through sms and now through here. Again I wanna wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY TROY! :D Hhahahah. May your wishes be fulfilled and all the best in your future endeavours. Have lots of fun with your loved ones on your birthday. Well I'm sure you gonna have a blast dude! As for the present, Wenjing and I apologise for the late of delivery of your present because we're like currently broke(but I'm not broke actually. It's just that I've saved up money for something else. Hehe) so we'll buying you a present and next week and give it to you when school reopens k. :)

Well, we've been friends for 4 months plus ever since the first day of our orientation and I hope our friendship will last long because you're one hell of a great and entertaining dude to get along well & lepak with, I swear! You're such an awesome friend. :DD

Anyway, my parents already went out early in the morning because they're bringing my lil sis to polyclinic for compulsory medical check up. And then after that, I was supposed to meet them in Geylang because they wanted to buy the kuih muih and baju kurung. But ended up, I woke up late. Pffft. -__- And it doesn't matter anyway. Whether or not, I follow them, they'll buy things that I told my parents to buy. And now they've come home and bought a loooot of food. Including Dengdeng and Ayam Percik that I've asked for! OMGGG -drools-. I so can't wait to eat them when I break fast later. Hehehehe. :P And oh, the raya songs are back on radio! Woohoo! It's like they play on radio only once every year. Aww, I love listening to Raya songs. <3 Alangkah syahdunya pabila mendengar lagu-lagu raya yang menusuk kalbu. (:

528th post

2010-08-20T21:39:00.000-07:00

Yo! Just came back from breaking fast with my ex-classmates at Lau Pa Sat. :DD Supposingly I needed to go to Woodlands and met a friend there in the noon to study in the library there, but ended up, I woke up late at 1! Gosh! I should have slept earlier, but yes, I DID try to sleep early but I just couldn't.. Because yeah, ever since holidays have started, I'm back to being nocturnals. Hah. So my apologies for my paitauness.. Can't be blamed, sigh. Not only that, I've paitaued my other friends too because of the reasons of me being overslept until they were so friggin' pissed off. Well, I'm really sorry guys .. :( Seriously,(I mean like seriouslyyyy!!) I ought to wake up a bit early and get along well with alarm clock because whenever the alarm rings, I have the tendency to keep snoozing until I found myself waking up late. -___-" Since there're a lot of upcoming study groups next week and the time slots are like at 12-1pm, and before I keep paitau-ing my friends constantly again, I really should train to get up in the morning. Pfft. Insyallah.

Anyway, as I mentioned, I went out with my ex-classmates just now to break our fast in Lau Pa Sat. Met Suhaila first at 4.45 in the bus stop near my house. Took 60 to Eunos Inter and took mrt to Raffles Place. Then met Yanie and Shinas there, and we went to book a table in Lau Pa Sat first while waiting for Arif, Hifzhan and Nashriq. We got a lot of stories to tell at that point in time. Our new schools, and stuffs. As a matter of fact, it's been eons we last spent time together. We totally had a great talk and laughter everytime we were together. :)) And when the boys came, we all were getting more kecoh! Hah. Although the boys were really lame and pathetic as usual at times, (-rolls eyes-), they were the ones who actually added humor and jokes to our conversation most of the times. Seriously dorg nye sense of humor tahap BUJANG LAPOK! Hahahah. Never fails to make us laugh. :D After breaking fast, they were planning to go for a bowl or play pool, but it's a sad thing that I can't follow because I needed to go home for some reasons. Sigh, I wished I was able to follow them. :( But at least I got to meet them untuk lepaskn rindu! Hehhehehe! And also, I'm looking forward to our class 5A's outing on 1st october! I heard it's gonna be something like prom night. Well, hope it'll be a memorable one. :))

AND BY THE WAY, I WANNA WATCH STEP UP 3D! LITERALLY EVERYONE WHO WATCHED IT SAY IT'S A FREAKING GOOD MOVIE WHICH IS WORTH EVERY PENNY. I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT TO WATCH!!!! UGH, DAMN IT!!

527th post

2010-08-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

Mom : "Dah lamer tk dgr khabar [insert guy's name here] . Kau tk rindu die ker effa?"
Me : " -pretends not to hear- ah? ape Ma? Mama bobal ngn kte eh tdi? -changes topic-
Mom : "Hmm.. yer laa."
My heart : "Of course I miss him, Mom.. Every single moments of my life.. I hope that one day, he will come back to me. Though there's a higher possibility that it'll never happen, I always hope and pray, that he changes to a better person, that he changes to a person whom he used to be. & then he's ready to accept back my love as I've never, never, never ever stopped loving him ever since we met."

Even Mom talks about my first love when I haven't been mentioning about him at anyone after such an indefinite period of long time. As a matter of fact, people have been purposely asking about his well-being and whereabouts even though there's nothing got to do with us anymore. But yet, they still asked.. And when they did, the only thing that I can do is to keep quiet because I don't wish to talk to anyone(no not even my loved ones) anymore. I'd rather let all these be left unsaid. Because if I confide everything that's kept within my heart to anyone, I know.. I know that I'll break down real bad for sure. My heart's been crying all night, literally every night whenever you haunt my thoughts. Only God knows how much I've been suffering emotionally and dying inside just because of this particular guy. But still, I bravely put up a front acting that I'm normal and make people believe my deceiving laughter and smiles.

What I've been really feeling is as if somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. And at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch, with a frozen sledge hammer. And then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone, and I’m crying, and nobody can hear me, because I’m terribly, terribly, terribly hurt.

And I swear, I've been loving you for more than 3 years. You're the first ever guy I met and loved deeply when I was sec 3. So tell me, is this what I'm experiencing called "TRUE LOVE".? Let this be an uncertainty..

526th post

2010-08-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

HAPPY XXTH BIRTHDAY TO ABG MIMI,

MY BELOVED COUSIN. ♥♥♥♥

Semoga panjang umur. Semoga Tuhan mencucuri rahmat terhadap dirimu, dan semoga Tuhan menjauhkan dan menghindarkanmu dari segala penyakit dan bencana dalam bentuk apapun. May God always bless you and protect you. Amin..

Hope you'll always be patient in going through the situation that you're in, and despite all of the things that tend to happen, I'll always be behind your back! I love you cousin! :DD

On another note, I just received a news that my cousin Kak Yah, who's Abg Mimi's younger sister, is in a labour now. She's delivering her third child right now. Awww! And that means, the birth of Kak Yah's third child falls on today, which is Abg Mimi's birthday. Abg Mimi will definitely feel happy if he finds out that his lil nephew's birthday is the same as his. Wow, double happiness. And speaking of which, I can't wait to see and cuddle Kak Yah's newborn babyyyy! I wonder how he look like. Hehehehehhe! :D Well, may you have a safe delivery Kak Yah! Insyallah, everything will go smoothly. ;}

525th post

2010-08-12T16:42:00.000-07:00

Finally I've posted the letters which I've written for my cousins 2 days ago. It's always a joy whenever I receive the letters from them.. Though we are not able to see each other, writing letters to one another is one way that helps us connected through our heart and soul.. <3

Since Ramadan has started and today's already the second day of fasting, I wanna wish fellow muslims here happy fasting. :) This is the time when the gates of Hell are closed and the gates of Paradise are opened, and also the time when we abstain ourselves from drinking and eating from dawn so as to learn to become more patient in whatever circumstances that befall us whilst we're fasting. May God bless all of us in this holy month. :) Amin!

524th post

2010-08-09T17:23:00.000-07:00

Since today marks 45th year of independence, Zul asked me out to watch fireworks in Esplanade with a large group of his friends whom I seriously don't know at all. And furthermore, since the town is extremely freaking packed with a lot of 49038215639176 typical people especially mat rep and minah rep there, I rejected Zul's invitation. So I ain't going anywhere today and would rather watch fireworks in the tv instead. Well speaking of fireworks, I remembered watching the mesmerized and fascinated fireworks right in front of my eyes during the closing ceremony of Carnival in Cowboy Town at Malacca. The fireworks were so exceptionally beautiful. So much more beautiful than Singapore's that I was so amazed and hypnotized at that point in time. It's indeed one of the most memorable moment to me.

And of course, I definitely miss everything about Malacca. Sigh. It's such a beautiful country with beautiful people. I wish my family allows us to go there again if time and circumstances permit us to. God willing. Insyallah. :)

And I did mention before, I'm so gonna migrate to Malaysia one day with my family. As quoted by Dad, "though my body is in Singapore, my soul is always at Malaysia." Same goes for me too. Only God knows how much my family and I can't stand living in this country. Reasons? There are a lot of reasons which I'm pretty sure you guys might know at least some of them, huh? Like seriously, although one thing I like about Singapore is that the security is damn tight, but come to think of it, what has the government ever done and provide all this while? Nothing but a huge burden. As a matter of fact I don't see a point in being proud as a Singaporean. Well, I think it's kinda inappropriate if I were to rant on and on about it here. And it's good that if anyone of you tends to agree with my statements and know the reasons as to why I'm against this country. It's also good that if your perspective is exactly the same as I think in such a way that you have issues staying in this country too.

Whatever it is, happy national day?? Yeah? Yeaa whatever. -rolls eyes-

523rd post

2010-08-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

"Syahdunya ku rasa di saat ini. Suasana sepi membisu. Tersentuh hatiku dibuai kenangan lalu. Ingin ku luahkan hasrat di hatiku. Sudikah mendengarnya? Sebenarnya engkau masih ku sayang, biarpun tak dapat bersama. Kau masih ku rindu seperti waktu dahulu. Aku mengharap agar kau mengerti curahan rasa ini. Jika engkau sedang hidup bahagia, jangan kau lupakan diriku yang terdampar kesepian. Ku dilambung ombak rindu yang hanyut dalam kelemasan. Mengapakah aku masih menunggu dan masih menagih kasihmu? Dirimu di mana? Cuma aku yang terus sabar menantimu tanpa jemu."
; Sekelip mata kau berubah - Lestari

Recently I've been listening to a lot of my favourite Rock Kapak and Jiwang Karat songs, as usual. Those sweet and unpleasant memories that you and I once conquered are now only meant to be reminisced...

Well, I didn't expect that I've actually slept for 15 freaking hours last night. From 11pm until 2 in the afternoon just now. God! Most prolly I was trying to paying back all of my sleeping debts since I deprived of sleep due to an extremely packed school schedule for the past few weeks or months. And since a whole month of study break is here, I've an opportunity to sleep as much as I want. All I want to do at the moment is to just sleep and sleep, though I'm not sleepy at all now. I just feel like sleeping again at this instant, 'cause sleeping makes me forget about everything momentarily.

522nd post

2010-08-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

I was having a fucking bad mood because of something that happened. Right after school, I was supposed to go out with a classmate of mine and watch a movie and shop today, but it turned out that our plan and my day was ruined. Halfway through when we reached town, we were arguing with each other just because some "misunderstandings" occurred until we gave cold shoulder all the way. It's like suddenly she started showing me that fucking attitude of hers for inexplicable reasons, and because of that, I did the same. I was so damn hyper to go out with her that I really enjoyed the moments being with her when suddenly she dampened my mood. I had been giving shit face towards her throughout. Like, what I did that made her feel THIS fucking infuriated at that point in time? Seriously I was so fucking pissed off.

As a result of all those, I decided to go home though we had already bought the movie tickets. Well, what's the point of having to watch movie when my mood was already ruined, right? When I took mrt and went home alone, I texted Zul. Told him everything that happened at that time and confided in him about how completely moody and angry I was. _|_ After that my classmate texted and admitted that she was at fault and she sincerely apologised.. and I did apologise too.

At least I'm feeling much much better now, after we've sorted things out calmly through sms. In spite of the fact that it's such a waste of not watching the movie The Last Airbender 3D although we've bought the tickets. Sighhh. But despite all that, thank God we're still friends and we've learnt to forgive and forget. And that's the most important thing that concerns me, since my friends are my second priority. Though they have their own flaws respectively, I appreciate them for who they are. <3

On another note, my shoulders have been aching so friggin' badly. If only there's someone who's able to massage my shoulder and body at the moment, I'll be really more than happy... ANYWAY, MY 1 MONTH OF STUDY BREAK A.K.A LUXURIOUS HOLIDAY IS FINALLY HERE! AND THAT MEANS I'M BACK TO BEING A NOCTURNAL!! WOOHOOO!!!!~ -shrieks loudly- Also to the rest of Poly peeps, JC and ITE, HAPPY 1 MONTH STUDY BREAK PEOPLE! Happy studying for the upcoming exams and at the same time, enjoy with your loved ones and have fun too okay loves! :D

Bye!

521st post

2010-08-01T20:14:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! After been eons, after an indefinite period of long time, after the cows which have already given birth to 765198340 millions of calves, I've made my blog a whole fresh new look! That is, I've finally changed my blogskin. Yay me. Though this skin in comparison to the previous one doesn't make that much difference due to their simplicity(which apparently simple skins are the types that I go for as complicated messy skins ain't my thing), at least this skin is brighter and the words can be clearly read without having to squint my eyes unlike the previous one. Hahah.

Anyway, it's been raining cats and dogs these few days, and instead of complaining like some people who think that raining is such a troublesome to them because they can't go out, I'm actually grateful and blessed for the fact that it's been raining incessantly. Since singapore is generally known as country with extremely humid scorching weather which makes me often perspire, thus having rainy season at the moment is actually a good thing. It's absolutely the best perfect weather for me to snuggle in. <3 That explains why I'm so freaking sleepy and laidback nowadays. Haha. Since I'm the sort who prefer extreme coldness to extreme humid, I guess I really shoud migrate to countries with winter or snow. Hahah seriously.

& I'm quite surprised actually that today's already the first day of august. Really really. Like gosh. I thought it's still the month of July. Pfft. Yeah, you can call me one pathetic fucktard. It's seriously irony to see how time really flies. It seems to pass so fast like a lightning. I can barely feel it. Left with 5 more months to the new year. Can't you guys feel that time really flies?? But well, to me the faster the time flies the better, as I'm looking forward to none other than my cousin's release in 2 years' time. Only God knows how much I effing miss him teribly and only God knows how much I need him in my life right now. My best confidant ever. The thought of him never fails to make me have this ache grief feeling because I've been leading my life with a loved one lesser. I feel kinda empty without him... In fact I haven't been writing any letters for him for these few months due to the fact that I'm busy with lots of stuffs. I totally feel guilty for making him wait for my letter. Sigh. Insha'Allah, I'll write him a letter during my holidays. Hoping that he's always fine and healthy there. :')

And speaking of school holiday, 10 more freaking days to the start of holiday!! WOOOOHOOOO!! Countdown kepeee. Hahahahah :D

In addition, there's Dfund lab test tomorrow. I hope I get to manage doing the practical successfully. Wish me luck okay! ;)

-
-
After a long time, I got the chance to see him again. He smiled at me and I did the same. He asked me if I'm doing well, and I nodded. Then the words instantly came out of me and I started to say, "I miss you so much. Your texts, your smile, the way you say I love you, I miss the way we were before.." He hugged me tight. He told me he feels the same. And then....

I woke up.

520th post

2010-07-31T19:34:00.000-07:00

Since I'm kinda free now, I shall update my blog now! Well, I'm left with a week of school, and then I'm off to enjoy a whole month of luxurious holiday already! Yes, my 1 month holiday starts on National Day! WOOHOOOOO! -shouts at the top of my lungs- I'm really looking forward to it and I can't waitttt!! Yessa!! :D :D Speaking of school, it's quite okay, with an exception that I'm really lagging behind in some of the practicals. Well, what to do.. Knowing that I'm not the practical type of person and I'm more to theory type. Sigh. And if you expect to me to memorise 39478370183747 pages, I can. But don't expect me to do those kind of soldering, wires related-stuffs, and everything. UGH, I FUCKING HATE IT! Sigh. That explains why I always flunk practical modules. -rolls eyes-

To top off with that, I'm done with 2 quizzes yesterday which were DFund and CKT, and I swear I answered most of the questions like crap, because to be honest, the questions are so motherfucking damn difficult. I was cursing in my heart throughout while I was doing the paper. I was seriously devastated because the amount of effort that I studied for long hours before the day of the quiz(to an extent that I had headache due to studying all the way without taking a rest) is wasted just like that. All of my efforts had already gone to drain. -blows a huge sigh and shaked head at the same time- Apparently I'm so gonna flunk the quizzes. -rolls eyes- But fret not, the quiz only takes up a small percentage of the whole component, which is just 10%. Note to self, I really ought to mug real hard for upcoming major exams which takes up 40%, and it falls on September, right after my August school holiday. I'm seriously damn terrified if I can't make it to 2nd year. I really have to pull through! I don't wanna retain. :( Insha'Allah, I'm able to pass overall.

Studied with a friend in airport yesterday. And I knew that I didn't study that much. HAHAHAHAH. But it was really enjoyable hanging out with Nina in airport, enjoying the aeroplane view, whilst talking about our personal lives, our school, including her N level related-stuffs. :) I hope when we're going to study again the next time, (which I intend to study in Starbucks :P), hopefully I'll be able to study that much. Gyeaaa.

There're so many events to look forward to next week. My holiday, National Day and also fasting month which falls on 11th. Meaning the month of Ramadhan is approaching near. Yay. :) <3 <3

On another note, I've been watching Annoying Orange videos and seriously, the Annoying Orange is so damn freaking annoying!! And I like the way the orange laughs. Hahahahah. Plus, I like literally ALL of their videos, but my most favourites are these ones below. & Annoying Orange never fails to make my day. :)

519th post

2010-07-28T02:10:00.000-07:00

I've been so freaking busy with school currently to an extent that I don't have the time to update my blog. Seriously sometimes I feel so fucking stressed out with studies to an extent that I showed my fucking damn attitude to everyone in this house. No one seriously understands how completely stressed I'm feeling right now. Sigh. There's so many piled up homeworks, projects and assignments which are to be completed soon. Well, so I won't be updating my blog till God-knows-when. The only thing that I update is Tumblr and Twitter. So pandai2 carik url aku eh. But not to worry, blog will be back as soon as possible.
Kthxbai.

518th post

2010-07-23T16:54:00.000-07:00

Went to Bedok polyclinic yesterday because I'm down with fever and diarrhoea. As a result of that, didn't come to school today and yesterday because though I was already recovered from fever, I'm still having diarrhoea and my body's really weak that I can even barely walk. And I got 2 days' MC anyway..

Sigh. I hope I'll get well soon. :(

517th post

2010-07-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

Katek and I accompanied Fadli to Bedok Inter yesterday evening since he needed to downgrade his phone. After that, I went to the library since I needed to study EMaths' test tomorrow and library is like the only place which I'm able to fully concentrate on studies, since I don't have any privacy and peace at home and the surrounding in home isn't conducing enough for me to do revision. So the guys followed me to library as they were bored, and they told me they wanted to borrow books there anyway. And I was like giving an I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that expression and creasing my eyebrows and then laughing my ass off and thinking, "muke korg nk bace buku?! HAHAHAHAH jgn buat aku ketawe bole tk!" So we did borrow some books since I haven't been borrowing them in quite a while. I borrowed a Malay love novel called "Spektrum Cinta" . I've read the first few pages and the story plots are quite interesting. :)

Then we went to settle down at a table and then as we were settling down, these teenager girls were like staring at Fadli and Katek strangely and the way they stared at them is similar to something like, "oh okayyy. This library certainly isn't appropriate for these wild guys with dyed blonde hair, I bet? I thought their hangout and most frequently visited place is under void deck? Why did they even wanna come here? -.-" I swear that the way they stared at my cousins makes me just wanna laugh at that instant! HAHAHAHHAH! And it's so effing true, omg. As when I was studying, Fadli never failed to annoy the SHIT out of me by always talking about this gorgeous girl who was behind us and then Katek never failed to distract the hell out of me by continuously laughing at Fadli and ended up, I joined the laughter as well which led to not revising properly. Sigh. Damn, they were so irritating..but yet hilarious. Always makes me happy. :)) And note to self, never go to library with these bunch of guys ever again if I really wanna focus on revision real hard. Hahahah. Well, it's true, library is never the place for them because they're not the studious type of people and not even bookworms! And the books that they borrowed, yes, they did read. But only for a short while. Haha. Aku da agak! Semangat 5 minit je siaa! Hahahah!

Left the library at 9pm and went home. "Ton" along with Katek and Fadli until subuh. So after having my breakfast, I slept at 8am earlier and woke up at 1pm. 5 hours of sleep is not enough for me. Though I deprived of sleep, most importantly I had lots of fun and laughter with them overnight. That's what concerns me the most. Have always enjoyed spending time with them. :))))

516th post

2010-07-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

Congratz Spain for winning the world cup!! :) As soon as Andres Iniesta scored a goal in extra time which was a last-minute goal in the 116th minute, I was shouting at the top of my lungs to an extent that I swear the whole block could hear! Hahahahah! And even Fadli and Katek were friggin' infuriated for the fact that Holland lost. Hahahah frustrated or what.. Chillax bro. Well, finally Spain emerged as winners for the first time in history. :)) Woaa! Once again, CONGRATZ SPAIN. You deserve to win the World Cup. Viva La Espana! :D

I was Tumblring when I stumbled upon this picture of a Pink Lambhorgini car. -looks down-

And of course I was dropping my jaws way too wide because like I said before, I can go gugugaga over sports carrrr! Gosh. And then I talked to Dad about it.

(In Malay)

Me : "Pa! Tgk sini jap Pa! Lawa sey kereta nie." -pinpoints to the picture above-
Dad : "Oh lambhorgini eh.."
Me : "Ah2. Lambhorgini gallardo color grey my first priority. Second priority, kereta nie(the one above)!"
Dad : "Brape kereta nie?"
Me : "Tah tk tau lak."
Dad : "Check brape harge die. Nanty bsok Papa belikan."
Me : "Mcm paham je Papa! Loyar buruk sey. HAHAHAH."

Hahah. As if Dad has a lot of money to buy me the car. Apparently he's pulling up my socks. -.-" Because he knows that I'm totally engrossed over cars that all this while he has to tolerate listening to me talking about CARS non-stop. But seriously, I can't help but to let it out. I wanna take driving license now, but my parents just don't let me take it. But well, I understand. Their explainations are reasonable. Sigh. And I've to wait till I graduate from poly. I so ought to buy this LAMBHORGINI one day. Yeah, don't worry. once I've gotten a stable job in like 4-5 years' time, I'll save money just to buy my dream car. SERIOUSLY FUCKKKKKKK, I CAN GO CRAZY THINKING ABOUT IT! :( I want a Lambhorgini pleaseeee! For God's sake, the damn car is so fucking nice!

515th post

2010-07-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

I went out with family in the afternoon. Headed to Mustafa Centre first with Dad, Fadli and Pakteh. We went there to search for the Adidas bag that I've been wanting all along. The bag which is exactly the same one like the one I'd been eyeing for in Century Square. As a matter of fact I've decided to buy the Adidas bag in CS yesterday when I was with bestf and Fadli, but I was so freaking shocked upon reading the price tags. It was a friggin' 80+ bucks when for the fact that it was 50+ last week. And it's like at the same place! How could have the price be increased so tremendously all of a sudden?! Pfffft! So I didn't buy since Mom only gave me 60 bucks for the bag because we really thought it costs 50+. And since Dad said there's a lot of choices of bags in Mustafa Centre, that was why we went there although I hate going to places like that because there're so many "owls". Paham paham je laa. And the place was like so... SO NOT A SUITABLE PLACE FOR ME TO SHOP. Yeah.

And as soon as we were in Mustafa Centre, there wasn't that type of Adidas bag that I wanted. Well I knew this would gonna happen from the first place, but Dad still insisted there's that type of bag in MC, but ended up there wasn't any. It's really such a waste of time going there. Sigh. -___- We had no choice but to go to CS to buy Adidas which was already the last piece in BHG. Though it costs really like so fucking expensive, 90 bucks for goodness sake, Mom agrees to buy it for me. Because she knows I've been aiming for that bag since months ago. So at last, I got that bag!! My parents seriously loves me a lot. Whatever that I ask for, they'd have the tendency to give me.. Aww. Mom gave me a new phone, and now a new bag. Omg, I'm so fortunate to own loving parents like my mother and dad. <3 Only God knows how thankful and overjoyed I felt when I FINALLY(emphasize on this word), like FINALLY get to own this Adidas bag!! Gosh! Seriously thank you so much Mom and Dad! Love youuu, I solemnly swear. :)

After buying the bag, met up with Mom and the rest at Rasa-rasa Thai near my house to have our dinner. And oh yes, it's Uncle's birthday today. Happy Birthday once again, Uncle! :)) Had nothing to celebrate, though. Just celebrating with a humongous chocolate cake with Uncle's picture on top of it.. And after dinner, we went back home.

So later on, the last and final soccer match for this year's FIFA world cup. Holland against Spain. Of course I'm supporting Spain. And the match will probably end at 5+ am and by the time it's 7 in the morning, I've to wake up for school. Since I won't be having enough sleep, Mom already gave me green light that I can skip school tomorrow. So apparently I'm not going to school the next day! Hehehehhehe! Just this once, sbb world cup nye psl. It's like a valid reason to us.. Hahahah! Once in a while mah.. :P So once we already know who wins the world cup, I'm so gonna miss watching soccer. Sigh. Really really. For this whole month of watching soccer, a lot of things seriously happened. So once the world cup is over, I'm so gonna miss those times when I was caught sleeping in class because I watched soccer the night before, and then the teacher asked me, "Y I always see you sleep uh? You watched soccer last night is it??" and kept picking on me. I'm seriously gonna miss that moment. And I'm gonna miss those moments when I kept talking about soccer with my classmates and argue with those who's totally opposed with my opinion.. I'm gonna miss everything about WORLD CUP! Why does world cup have to end fast? :( :( Well looks like I've to wait till 2014 for another season of World Cup. Sigh. Aside that.. What I'm concerned about right now is that I hope Spain wins. And Paul the Octopus itself picked Spain over Netherlands too. Hahah. But like I said, whoever wins, be it Spain or Netherlands, you guys really deserve to win! So good luck and give your very best shot okay guys! :))

I need to go and munch on something now. Bye! :) 2.30am, hurry up please! I can't wait to watch the finale of FIFA 2010!!!!

514th post

2010-07-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

Had fun hanging out with bestf and surprisingly along with Fadli as well.. Since Fadli's been so eager to get to know my bestf. And when both of them met each other just now which was their very first time, I swear they were so kecohrable! Hahahahhahah! Should go out again together the next time round okay guys! ;)

Well, frankly speaking, I don't know why but sometimes I'm seriously not at my usual self in a way that I appear friggin' sad, emotional, quiet, frowning, and in deep thought. It's like I'm just not in the mood to talk to anyone, and it's not that I purposely have the intention to do that just to gain sympathy from the people. Even people, specifically Katek and my classmates label me as "Emo".. Well.. Yes, I admit I'm an emo kid or preferably "sentimental". And yes, I admit I like the colour Black which is my most favourite colour since small because Black seems cool to me, and also I'm aware that I'm most comfortable listening to those emotional heartfelt music. Well, yes I admit I'm Emo. But I'm not like those "Emo" posers where they self-injure themselves by cutting their wrists just because they think it's cool, to seek attention from the rest. Just because of trend.. That's what I call EMO SHIT, and obviously I don't belong to that group.

And before I get people wrong, let me set this straight. Emo has another meaning as well.. Emo kids are people who are actually emotional. For example, if they are happy, they have the tendency to show it. If they are sad, then you can really tell that they are sad. And Emo isn't something that you can become. It's really something that you have to be born with. It's natural. And as a matter of fact, I belong in this group.. So please, don't confuse emos with posers. So to the people who's kinda fed up with my mooswings because a day I tend to be overjoyed, hyper but another day when I'm down, I'm really sorry. And to the people who ask, "Why you so emo ah" I myself have no answers to that question. It's just not my intention to intentionally act as one fucking emo kid in the first place. This feeling comes from the heart which I really I can't explain. It's so unexplainable..

I hope people are not gonna stereotype me as Emo posers, because though I know I'm emo, I'm the sort who doesn't have this thinking that I'm really proud to be known as Emo. I'm just emo out of the blues and there's nothing I can do to overcome it. It's just natural, yeah? No matter what, thousands of apologies who have issues with me sometimes because that's just me..

513rd post

2010-07-09T16:50:00.000-07:00

I'm so freaking ecstatic because today's friday and the weekends, which I've been looking forward to is finally here! TGIF!! WOOHOOOOOO! :D -jumps enthusiastically- I'm so proud to have survived this whole hectic week. Phew! And all I care about at this very moment is that right now is the time for me to slack as much as I can, and spend more time with my beloved family especially my dearest lil freaking cute sis. :)) And also, I get to have the opportunity of sleeping late and wake up as late as I wish to, even it is just for 2 days in the weekends. Because I seriously need to treasure the weekends before school starts all over again whereby pressure in studies comes kicking in again to an extent that these few days I've been depriving of sleep. Apparently because of school. Yes. Such fucked-up schedules. School's been sucking the deepest pit of hell out of my energy, matter-of-factly. It really occupies a lot of my time. Pffft. -___-"

Anyway, Fifa World Cup is ending in 3 days' time. Awww. Which means to say that it'll be a last match before the world cup ends. Spain vs Netherlands. Well, I've this instinct that Spain will win because their performance is damn good. Their defence, the way they dribble and pass the balls to one another, just everything. But on the other hand, Netherlands is a strong team too. But well, may the best country win. And whoever wins, they really deserve to win this year's world cup. Good luck okay you guys! :))

Anyway at that point of time before the match between Germany & Spain started, Fadli and I made a bet against Katek since me and Fadli were supporting Spain whereas Katek was supporting Germany. We had made a deal that if Fadli and I lost a bet, we had to confess our feelings towards the ones we deeply love; which luckily we didn't need to do that since we win the bet. So apparently Katek lost and he had to tackle and court a girl(whom Fadli recommended to him) whom Katek didn't know at all. He really needs to woo that girl for 2 weeks, to get to know each other better, and to make her really fall in love with him that will land themselves in a relationship eventually. And then when 2 weeks is up, he has to bring that girl to introduce to us, and in front of us, he had to confront and tell her that he initiates a break-up, with a serious tone and ferocious face like he seriously means it. Just like how it's acted out in the movie "Syurga Cinta". Hahahahah. Well, he already started tackling that girl anyway. He started talking on the phone with her yesterday for 6 hours straight, and he told me that he really begins to have feelings for that girl, when for the fact that he's in a relationship with another girl for quite long already. HAHAHAH two-timer or what. And then he personally tells me that he's seriously scared and doesn't have the guts to initiate a break up with her and make her totally feel ashamed in front of us at public in 2 weeks' time.. It was Fadli's idea anyway.. Hah. & I said, "Tu laa, sape suro bet in the first place? Kn da kene."

Because before that, we made a bet on Germany vs Argentina too. Since Fadli and I bet on Argentina and so we lost, we had to do a forfeit in a way that we had to drink 4 humongous, I repeat HUMONGOUS glasses of water each incessantly WITHOUT(emphasize on this word please!) stopping. I swear I felt like beating the crap out of Katek because our stomach were really friggin' bloated. -__- And now, look what happens. PAYBACK TIME OKAY! Revenge! So all the best laa eh Katek.. Moral of the story : Don't ever try to bet with us again, because next time your forfeit will just get even more worse. -wink-

Meeting bestf tomorrow to go for shopping, and at the same time time will be buying that Adidas bag that costs 50+ bucks which I've been eyeing for. Well, I can't wait to hang out with bestf after such an indefinite long period of timeeeee! Miss her lots. :)))))

512nd post

2010-07-05T15:50:00.000-07:00

My Monday morning went pretty well. Troy gave me a humongous belated birthday present, which was shared amongst him, Haifaa & Wenjing. And when I got home to open it, it was a freaking cute teddy bear with this heart shape card that was written specially for birthday wishes. Aww!! Thank you so much guys. :)) Seriously appreciate it! Hehehehhehe.

Okay so, first period was Engineering Maths and there was quiz which I didn't even study at all. Well okay, I did revise a bit anyway.. So the quiz was manageable, except for last question which was so damn hard. Apparently if I had studied in the first place, I would have been able to do literally of the questions, right? But whenever I've to mug and stuffs, I always kept thinking, "Ugh, to hell with it." Because I ought to admit that nowadays, I really can't concentrate on studies and whenever there's lecture class, my mind would tend to wander somewhere else. I seriously don't know why. I just feel that I'm still in the mood to have a holiday break because I'm not yet ready to do all these revision and stuffs. I don't know what's been going on in my mind. Like what the hell is wrong with me! Pffft.

Anyway, as my class was waiting for the lecture to start, Troy brought up a topic about world cup. He was so damn fortunate that he won the bet, because he was betting on Germany vs Argentina - 4-0 , which really turned out right. -____-" While he was so freaking sexcited, I went moody and kinda pissed off because for the fact that Argentina lost. Fuck! And I was talking to Troy, "Do you know why Argentina lost? Because Argentina's goalkeeper was bribed you knowww!" And Troy said, "Yeaa yeaa, I can see that. Chillax" Well, that's part of the reason. Another reason is because the Argentines don't have teamwork. They're so greedy as they didn't want to pass the balls. They wanted to score the goal by themselves, by individual because they wanted to live up their name. But they were wrong. With that kind of attitude, they couldn't make it to semi-finals. Pffft! And then as we were talking, Haris randomly came up to me, Wenjing and Troy. And the three of them are like supporting Germany. And here's how the conversation went..

Haris : "Eh you all support Germany? Same uh."
Wenjing : "No.. Afifah support Argentina. When that time Argentina lost, she messaged me say, 'I wanna jump off from the building already. Take care Wenjing..' " Then I say, "Crazy uh! Don't anyhow laa."
Me : -laughing like mad because I was so exaggerating at that time-
Haris : "Argentina lousy laa."
Me : "Eh no okay! THE GOALKEEPER WAS BRIBED SIAAA! Im pissed off uh! If not for the bribes, they would have won laa."
Haris : "No laa. Argentina really very lousy."
Me : "NOOO THEY GOT BRIBED OKAY!"
Troy : "Omg. Can you please stop it?! Enough laa! It's over already. Aiyaa you uh!"

Since just now, I kept blabbering about the bribes non-stop to an extent that Troy was friggin' pissed off with my irritation. -.- Yea, I still can't accept the fact that they lost. Ugh! I really have been supporting Argentina and they hadn't even lost ever since their first match. And when they lost in quarter finals match, it's really a huge disappointment to me. :'( If not for the bribes and the greediness of Argentines, they would have won because they're seriously a strong and powerful team. So at that moment of our conversation, though anger conquered me because Haris was like rubbing the salt into my wound, but it's one hell of a funny moment though. & I can get along well with Haris only when we talk about SOCCER!! HAHAHHAH!

So forget it.. Ever since Argen lost, I'm really not in the mood to watch soccer again. Sigh. Well, hope Argen gets to win 2014's world cup. They're still the best team to me. Hehe. ;)

Btw karaokeing session with Nina yesterday was fun. It was enjoyable. Though it costs quite expensive, but it's worth the 4 hours we karaoked. In the beginning, we sang most of Achik Spin's songs because we're really a huuuge fan of him, and it's like we sang those songs as a tribute to Achik who already passed away.. At the same time when were singing, it's quite sad though because he really made a great impact in our lives. :( And.. I really like the part when Nina sang "Atas Nama Cinta" by Rossa the most. Seriously so powerrr! Lunak dan merdu kedengarannya. Hahahah! :D And we sang other songs, from Malay songs like Syura, Erra Fazira, Ziana Zain, Fauziah Latiff, Agnes Monica, Spoon, Spin to English songs like 3 Doors Down, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and Hoobstank. We had so much fun. :) Btw thank you Nina for the chocolates as present and the souvenir that you gave me from Bandung. And it'll be your turn to receive my present when your birthday arrives, which falls on 20 July! So just wait okay... Hahah.

511st post

2010-07-02T05:38:00.000-07:00

Had a bad luck in the morning. Yes, on my birthday itself. I sprained my ankle in the bus, thanks to that guy who pushed me to an extent that I can hardly walk anymore, for now. Luckily he apologised, or otherwise, if he didn't seek forgiveness and instead he just went off like he never did anything wrong, i'd have thrown tantrum and hurled vulgars at him in public. Pfft. My leg's seriously still painful right now. Sigh. So despite that, my classmates really made my day. For the presents, for wishing me happy birthday, making me feel special today. And in fact, I seriously and sincerely wanna thank you to everyone, be it through Facebook, face-to-face, or sms, JUST THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES GUYS! I really appreciate it. <3 :D :D

Anyway.. guess what Mom got me for my birthday present..?

NOKIA XPRESSMUSIC 5370 PHONE! THE PHONE THAT I'VE BEEN WANTING ALL THIS WHILE. OMGGGGGGG! I'M REALLY SO DAMN OVERJOYED! AM SO SPEECHLESS! FINALLY I GOT A NEW PHONE!!! WOOHOOO! Gazillion thanks to Mom for buying me a new phone. I love you so much Mom! <33333 I really appreciate it. :))))

Well, okay so, had a birthday celebration with my family just now. I'm glad that I've finally turned 18 years old. Which means I'm already legal. Given that age, I can already go clubbing(but I won't ever go clubbing because I'm the decent type. Hahahah) and buy cigarettes for people who are underage( -___- ) and also, take driving license!! But Mom doesn't let me take license for now yet, sigh. She tells me to wait for the right time, like after I get a diploma and graduate from poly, then can I take license. So which means 3 more yearssss. So now is the time for me to study first. Yeap. Looks like I've to wait, and by the time I take license around 21 years old, I'd have already started working and buy myself a lambhorgini, or convertible, or better still, Mazda RX4 family car!! Hhehehehehe!

Well, I'm really thankful for the 18 blessed years that I've lived with my life. It really feels good to finally turn 18. Thank God. And I feel so extremely special today. Thanks everyone. I really enjoyed my birthday. :)

510th post

2010-06-27T19:43:00.000-07:00

Fadil & I made a bet about "something". We agree that if I finally admit and confess that I've feelings towards this someone, he'll win the bet and I've to treat him KFC & LJS. But if I don't, I'll win a bet and he has to treat me Swensen's & Starbucks, but in order for me win the bet, we need to wait for 2 years plus until I graduate from poly because that bet has really got to do with that "someone" from my school. Pffft. Our bet is like so friggin' long. Whatever.

But I'm pretty much confident that I'll win the bet because I never have feelings for that someone and never will. But this Katek insisted that one of these days, no matter how much I admit that I'll never have feelings, I'm sure I'll have feelings towards him, even a speck of it, and then he'll tend to break up with his significant other and confessed his feelings towards me, which I know will never ever happen. -____-" If it really happens, I'll be the first one to laugh. It's just so impossible to happen, duh! Although I can know that he has a crush on me(I'm not saying that I'm so freaking perasan. But I just KNOW it. It's really obvious.) because everyday, for god's sake EVERYDAY and everytime whenever we see each other in school, he keeps staring at me directly & indirectly in that kinda strange way which sometimes I really wish that I can poke his eyeballs out. Pffft. It's so freaking uncomfortable, that kind of feeling, you know? & knowing that he's attached, but yet he dares to do that kind of stuffs even when his half other realises it sometimes.. Well, despite that, his love towards his girlfey is really damn serious that I heard they'll always be inseparable and they really hope their relationship gonna last long. And furthermore, I'm nothing compared to his girlfriend who's so damn pretty and has a cool personality. Whereas I'm the ugly one and a boring type. So the reason why I'm confident I can win the bet is because firstly, they can never break up. And secondly, I can never have feelings at him because as a matter of fact, my first love can never be forgotten. The first love whom my heart beats for, for 3 years plus and still counting. And it's impossible to have someone replace him for now.

Cause you're the only one in my heart..

509th post

2010-06-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

Kehadiran membawa seribu erti. Terasa bagaikan suatu mimpi. Tiada ku terlintas akan terjadi. Kita kan terpisah jua akhirnya. Sejenak ku terfikir segala, oh keindahan bersamamu. Kembalilah kasih kepada diriku. Hidupku sepi tanpa kehadiranmu. Dengarlah rayuanku, jeritan batinku. Masih dahagakan kemesraanmu. Hanya kau yang ku cinta, tiada kedua. Usah biarku menderita. Setelah kau pergi tiada kembali, pilunya tak dapat ku menggambarkan. Abadi kasihku yang amat suci, biarpun yang dalam kegelapan. Dengarlah dendangan laguku untukmu, suara hati lambang suci murni. Berat saatku dilamun rindu, setelah lama dikau pergi. Oh, kasihku....

Laguku Untukmu - Hasnol

The song that's dedicated to none other than, you.

508th post

2010-06-22T00:48:00.000-07:00

I'm currently into KRU old songs because listening to them really brings back memories. Those times when I was in primary school, when I used to go guguaga over Yusry KRY because of his good looks & cool personality. Hahahah. And I used to like at that point of time when Yusry & Erra were once together, because they're like sweet and compatible couples. I thought their marriage would last long till eternity, but both of them were not fated to be with each other since the actual fact is that Yusry is actually a gay. :/ Poor Erra.. But whatever it is, I literally love most of KRU songs, like The Way We Jam, Awas, and especially the one which I posted the video above entitlted Jangan Lafazkan. Seriously I love their lyrics, melody & music video, as they're controlling the creative aspects very well. But now it's hard to find quality songs like theirs, seriously.

Well no offence, but it's undeniable that 90% of the Malay songs nowadays are getting suckier and even more crappy, which explains why I'm always faithful into the old songs, specifically genres Rock Kapak & Jiwang Karat because to me, those genres are the only all-time favourite genres as they relate to me best. Those genres are the only genres which will touch my heart deeply the most to an extent that the songs can make me shed tears incessantly. As the arrangement of their songs & the lyrics which are meaningful & as deep as the ocean are seriously different & unique and cannot be totally compared to crappy recent songs. And that explains why I no longer listen to Ria, which instead I've started listening to AB Sheikh's hilarious segment in "Yo Bangun Beb" in Warna every night. The segment where the callers got punked. Hahah. It's seriously damn funnaye. :) Truth to be told, I prefer Warna gazillion times more than Ria in terms of entertainment & type of songs. & AB Sheikh is a very humble and funny dj. :)

By the way, it was Wenjing's birthday yesterday. Thank God she likes the present I gave her. Credits to Saadah. :))) And tomorrow is Haifaa's Birthday. Troy & I share present by buying chocolates for her birthday tomorrow, since we've no freaking idea what to buy apart from chocolates knowing that we're broke now. :/

WELL SPEAKING OF THEIR BIRTHDAY, I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT FOR MY 18TH BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEEEEK! MOM WILL BE GIVING ME A NEW PHONE ON MY BIRTHDAY ITSELF!! I'M SO HAPPY & I SO CAN'T WAITTTTTTT! YAY! :D AND ALSO ONE OF MY FRIENDS WILL BE TREATING ME TO WATCH ECLIPSE!! DOUBLE YAY! :D AND MY OTHER FRIENDS WILL BE TREATING ME EITHER STARBUCKS OR SWENSEN'S!! TRIPLE YAYYY!! :D

507th post

2010-06-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

I despise for the fact that school reopens tomorrow. Sigh. In other words, I need to get my freaking ass to sleep early & wake up early(meaning no more watching World Cup at 2.30am on the weekdays. UGHH!), which is seriously one of the hardest challenges that I've to overcome ever since I was small. Pfffft! Well even though I'm still not in the mood to study yet, but on a lighter note, I can barely wait to meet my 'family'. My Ahma Wenjing, my Sis Haifaa And my Ahgong Troy. :D It's been eeeeeeeeons I didn't meet them & gosh, I really miss them effing much! See you guys tomorrow okay! :))

And since today marks the date of Fathers Day, I want to wish...

HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO MY DEAREST DAD and to all of the fathers out there too! :)

I didn't buy any present for dearest Dad because I'm really friggin' broke and even Dad knows that. But I'll buy a present specially for him on his birthday this coming October. I promise. :) So only Mom was the one who bought present. She bought chocolate fudge cake to celebrate Fathers Day today, and then we may be karaokeing in .. no no, not in Cash Studio, but .. at HOME! HAHAHAHAH yes! Karaokeing at home. Woohoo. :)

& Dad, I really want to apologise to you during those times when I'm unintentionally insolent towards you, those times when I accidentally raise my volume at you just because I'm emo, moody & pissed off.. But instead of you scolding or slapping me like what Mom does, you ended up being patient & just kept calm.. Now then do I realise you're not like any other person. You're the most understanding, patient & sporting father I've ever met. Well, I'm sorry for any wrongdoings that I've done that had caused you anger & pain. I'm really sorry Dad. And.. I sincerely wanna say thank you for all of the incalculable sacrifices you've done towards me.. And the harships you had to go through to raise me up until I've become a successful daughter whom you're most proud of. Thanks for everything Dad. I really appreciate it. :) Not even once that I've ever regretted coming across you who's known as my father. I love you Dad. <3 AYAHKU MEMANG HERO! Heheheh.

506th post

2010-06-19T16:36:00.000-07:00

How time flies. Time really flies like lightning that I could barely feel it. Sigh. 2 weeks of holidays has finally come to an end, so which means 2 more days to the re-opening to school which I totally dread, because I'm still in the mood for slacking & relaxing. I'm still in the mood to enjoy. Am not in the mood to study yet. :( So.. principal or teachers from TP, if you're reading this, can you please spare a thought of us and extend a more freaking week of school break? I'd be really more than happy if it really happens, but duh, it WON'T. How I envy those primary/secondary school/JC students who have another week of holiday and the ITE students who're having 2 more weeks. Gosh! But it's okay, guess I've to wait on August when I'll be having a WHOLE month of luxurious holiday. 2 more monthssssss baby!

After been soooo long not contacting with my bestf Ifaaah, texted with her the whole night last night and it made me feel beyond great. She's my most gerek-to-the-core best friend whom I easily talk to about just ANYTHING with no worries. :)) Both of us have a lot of chemistry and have this "great minds think alike" thingy and she's my one & only friend whom I'm most comfortable to confide in. We can talk unnecessarily non-stop from morning to night, and we're the sort who don't think, "What if she'll feel offended if I say like this and that?" No, we're straightforward people, and whatever that we want to say & pour out to each other, we'll just say it, because it's like our way of thinking and maturity is really the same, and that's why she's my twin whom I can get along very well. 4 years of friendship & still going on strong. I hope our friendship continues to grow and never ends, hopefully until the day we're getting married, until we've turned into old ladies who starts to tremble already. HAHAHAHAH! Well, let's just say, hope our friendship will last till eternity. Insyallah. :))

We did have an argument or so-called misunderstanding over something, which led us to drift apart, and then did I realise the importance & value of losing a best friend and how it totally sucks to lose a best friend like her. Let's hope those kind of things will not happen again. No words can describe how great our friendship seriously is. Love you sis. <3

Who do you think will win the World Cup? What, England? Nah, I think there's no hope for England already. What, Brazil?! Nah, but the furthest Brazil can go is maybe in finals, who will face Argentina, and I'm gonna watch Brazil got knocked out. Hahahah. BECAUSE I'M CONFIDENT ARGENTINA WILL WIN THIS YEAR'S WORLD CUP!! YES ARGENTINA! JUST YOU GUYS WAIT AND SEEEEE OKAY!

505th post

2010-06-17T02:00:00.000-07:00

Movie date yesterday with Saadah was great. :) We watched Karate kid and it was really effing awesomeeeeee! It's worth every penny, the popcorns & drinks. Despite the fact that we had to sit on the first 2 rows because the movie theater was packed with lots of people and so we had to tilt our heads, we enjoyed watching it. The movie comprised of fighting, suspense, humor and also touching elements. I like that Jaden Smith lil kid very much! Though he's still young, but his karate skills are really beyond fucking great. Maut siol die! Hahah. And he's one hell of a funny guy too. Never fails to make us laugh our ass off with his funny moves and personality. :) I give this movie a rating of 5/5 stars because the movie is just not about karate and stuffs. It also teaches you to not give up easily & instead, you've to persevere throughout. No matter what happens, when life knocks you down, you can choose to get back up. That's what 'Dre Parker' says. Heh. And seriously, let me say this again, the movie's so damn freaking funnaye!!! Hahahhahah! So what I'm trying to say is, if you wanna watch, don't even consider or give it a second thought because I'm sure you're so gonna love it and not even feel a speck of regret because the movie's just awesome, I swear. :))

And though I've watched Karate Kid, but it doesn't mean Karate has influenced me because my heart & my soul is still towards boxing. And speaking of which, I've started boxing back two days ago since I needed to build back up my muscles as my body's physically weak already. How I felt THIS kind of sense of satisfaction after boxing for 45 mins that day after such an indefinite looooong period of time that I didn't box & thanks to Katek who was there to hold the punching bag for me throughout. I guess he is & will still be my boxing "punching bag" partner while I'm the boxer. Hhahah. Not only that, we also learnt the tactics & step of how to fight. And boxing is not only a sport for you to vent your anger & frustration, but to make you realise that by boxing, it helps you to overcome your fear and boost up your courage although you've to take a lot of risks. Because in life if you don't take any risk, you'll have no failure, and if you don't have it, you won't realise the importance of being 'successful'. And like people say, No Pain, No Gain. Yeah. Well I used to abandon boxing for 3-4 months already and now if possible I wanna box at least thrice a week. I just wanna get better & better. amp; Boxing is really a part & parcel of my life. <3 <3

So anyway after the movie, we went to the toilet and that's where I suddenly found out that I lost my handphone back cover. Shit..! I really need to get a new proper phone anyway because this Sony phone that I'm using has been giving me a lot of problems all of the time. It's like most of the times, the phone is suddenly black-out & in order for it to be switched on, I've to take out the battery and put it back. And if it's still black screen, I've to do those steps over and over again & IT'S REALLY ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF ME BECAUSE THIS HAPPENS TO ME ALL OF THE TIME. FUCK. And not only that, the charger has been giving me trouble too! I'm soooo gonna persuade Mom to buy me a new one(if possible Blackberry), because I can no longer bear with this current phone, and it's like every Sony Ericsson phone that I use, is bound to be spoilt and not only me, but friends who're using Sony are cursing & swearing too when their phones are spoilt. So.. I've decided not to use Sony phone ever again, because it's like the company is like cheating the hell out of our money. Apparently it's company's fault, huh? Ugh. _|_

Okay back to the story. Then we kept searching for graphic tee in the mall since I needed to buy the present for my friend. And thanks to Saadah for helping me choose the t-shirt since I suck at choosing t-shirts as I'm more to dress. Haha. So managed to buy it and soon gonna wrap the present, and give it to her on her birthday which is this Monday. Well, hope she likes it. Hmm.. & I've yet to buy a present for my other close friend whose birthday befalls on this Wednesday. I'm seriously still unsure of what to buy for her. Prolly chocolates? Hah. Well anyway.. had fun going out with Saadah. :))

I won't be updating my blog that often because I can't be bothered to on my lappy sometimes. So find me in Twitter or Plurk for my latest updates or whatsoever okay.

Oh, before I forget, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY ZUL APEK!!!
All the best in your future endeavours dude. May God bless you. You seriously are a great person to me that I feel extremely honoured having to come across you. Thanks for everything you've done towards me. The laughter, the joys, the anger sometimes that we vent on, the problems that we confide in each other, just everything. The littlest things that bond our friendship even much closer together. Once again, happy birthday dude! :))

And also, happy birthday to you boy.. Hope you'll always be happy & blissful in your life with your loved ones by your side..

504th post

2010-06-11T22:51:00.000-07:00

Now everyone in this house falls sick due to spread of virus. Yes, everyone of us is sick! Me, Mom, lil sis, Dad, Katek, Fadli, Uncle and Aunt. PFFFFFFT. Thanks to Aunt for spreading the virus to all of us here because she brought the virus from that patient in bomoh's house. And now all of us are suffering. Fever, cough and flu. Pfffffft. I seriously pity my lil sis because she has been really sick for more than a couple of days and despite the fact of us bringing her to polyclinic and giving her medicine, she still hasn't recovered yet. Sigh maybe it takes some time for her to get well. I really sympathise with her condition a lot. She's still small & young but yet she has to be miserable. Hope she gets well soon. And all of us too. -______-" Insyallah.

Am watching FIFA World Cup's first soccer match - South Africa vs Mexico. Dad & Katek support South Africa whereas I support Mexico since I'm apparently a Latin-Malay mixed person, you knowww. Ehem. Perasan or what! But I seriously envy Latin Mexican people because of their skin color. Gosh. And some of the Mexican football players are so freaking hot! And we've no cable to watch other matches so Dad's intending to apply World Cup channel soon which I seriously can't wait! :) & anyway, I support either England or Spain! I can't choose which one of the countries because for England, there's Owen, Gerrard & Rooney and furthermore, I've been supporting England since small, I swear! Whereas for Spain, there's Torres and Spain is really a strong team. Whatever it is, OLE OLE OLE OLE! OLE OLE! -dances- WORLD CUP FEVER IS BACK. WOOHOOOOOOO! :D :D

Btw, it's been eons I had a good hysterical laughter like this. Suddenly befell me when Katek, Fadli & me did something that's beyond inappriopriate & funny in someone's account. HAHAHAHAH! I swear that up till now, I still feel like laughing my ass off when thinking of just now's incident. Hahahahah! Only Katek, Fadli & me know, including Mom who were so curious as to why we kept laughing non-stop and so we told her and then she joined in the laughter as well. LOL! Because it's seriously so damn funnaye. And only the four of us know what the "incident" was about. -eyebrow up up-. Eheh.

Okay, wanna watch soccer now. Hope Mexico wins the first match! I support my own "country" okay! Because can I say this again, I'm Latin-Malay mixed. Duh! HAH. Okay bye!

503rd post

2010-06-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

Really great video by Didi & Gisel. -thumbs up- Omg Didi is such a hotstuff. Awww. :))))))))

Everyone seems to fall sick nowadays. My lil sis, aunt, Katek and also Fadli are having a fever right now. Including me who was so freaking feverish, having headache, down with flu and cough, but thank God I'm feeling much better after taking a shower, plenty of rest and sipping cups of hot tea. And as for them who are sick, may they get well soon, especially my dearest lil sis!

502nd post

2010-06-04T21:04:00.000-07:00

Headed to Bugis with family today(it's been an indefinite long period of time that we have a family outing). And one thing I like about when shopping with family is that they'd tend to pay for all of the stuffs that I wanted. Heh. I bought a top at Cotton On's Bugis Junction and then bought another 2 tops at Bugis Street, and not to forget, bought a bag for my school which costs 15 bucks. And also, bought J.CO DONUTS WHICH I HAD BEEN CRAVING FOR SINCE FEW DAYS AGO! Like finally, I got to devour it! Oh, the heavenness of tasting the flavours of doughnuts. :)) And everything that I've bought had already accumulated up to 60 bucks which Mom gave me for my expenditure. Just like that easily. -snaps-. And now, I'm friggin' broke once again. -______-" Apparently when it comes to money, I can never get enough spending stuffs. But I felt contented because at last, I got to shop like nobody's business!

And now for the time being I've to patiently wait for Mom or Dad to give me another 50 bucks next next week, on the day when I'm meeting up with Rinah at Northpoint. Heheh. Maybe we're going bowling or watching movies or shopping. I can't wait to hang out with Rinaaah! :)

Okay bye. Wanna watch Ali Setan in Suria. :}

You cannot force someone to move on like as if it was that easy. Because it's like telling someone to intentionally have amnesia.

501st post

2010-06-03T04:42:00.000-07:00

This girl here; Nina, who's one of my best confidants and my most understanding best friend has fled to Indonesia today for one week and she'll be back to Singapore next Thursday. I'm so gonna miss her so freaking much much during her absence here. Sigh. :( Hope she'll have lots of fun there with her beloved family as well as her relatives and may she have a safe trip to and fro. And nina, I know you won't be reading this but seriously take good care of yourself there and.. don't forget to buy for me chewing gum okay! Heheheheheh! Do enjoy your luxurious holiday to the fullest and make your every seconds worthwhile there. So that when you come back, you'll have plenty of fond memories in Bandung. :))

And besides that, Phyd has also gone to Bintan today till Sunday. I pray that you'll have a safe trip to and fro as well. Don't forget to buy my souvenir too.. Hahahahah. :P And have fun on your vacation alright! Enjoy while you can! :)

Speaking of which, I miss going to Malacca. Sigh.. Memories.. :( :(

Seeing people change isn't what hurts. What hurts is remembering who they used to be.

500th post

2010-06-02T06:35:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 500TH BLOGGER. I LOVE YOU OH-SO MUCH. :)

THE TERM TEST IS OVER AND TERM BREAK IS FINALLY HEREEEEE! WOOHOOOOOOO! I LIKEEE! <3 <3 -jumps up and down like a deranged bitch!- It's time to enjoy, slack and have fun to the max, after a month plus of encountering incalculable stress & pressure of studies that you can never understand how beyond stressful I get. Sigh. -_____-" So we really deserve to get a break for 2 weeks plus at this point of time. And I somehow feel a sense of satisfaction because I've done my very best for all of the tests and I'm absolutely certain that I can ace for those modules. Heheh! Except for the practical EPT test which I totally screwed up and I really have no hope in that bloody module. And DFund & CKT practical test is yet to get it done and over with since they're held right after term break, but now for the time being, who gives a damn about it right?!

But whatever it is, I'm free from studies momentarily and what I know right is is I wanna enjoy my luxurious precious holiday to the fullest. And woo, I'm back to being nocturnal! I'm so accustomed to sleeping and waking up late! What an enjoyable and relieved life I'm leading right now. Hahahahah. :)))))

499th post

2010-05-30T02:45:00.000-07:00

“Sometimes I think the human heart is just a simple shelf. There’s only so much you can pile onto it before something falls off an edge and you are left to pick up the pieces.”

For inexplicable reasons, I've been feeling sick and shitty for several days already. I encountered headache, sore throat, cough, flu, body heat for the past few days, and now, I've to endure this heavy flu which is really getting even more worse than yesterday, and damn, it's seriously taking its toll on me. I totally can't stand having to deal with this friggin' flu and I don't know how many gazillions of tissues I've used up just to clear this mucus flowing from my totally-red nose which already looks like Rudolph's.

In addition, Mom bought Starbucks' Caramel Frappuccino for meeee! Thank you very much Mom. Love you manymany! Only you're the one who understands how addictive I am to Starbucks. Heheheh. <3 I wanna savour the cold coffee at this very moment, but the thing is how I am supposed to drink when I'm having flu?! Ugh! And I'm the sort of person who refuse to take panadols, although there's test tomorrow(speaking of which, I haven't revised the whole day today. But I've studied topic 1-3 of Engineering Maths yesterday for the test tomorrow, and I'm only left with chapter 4 functions which no matter how much I practise, I still won't fully apprehend. Functions is so complicating, fuck. Gotta revise that chapter later on), although the flu's aggravating further, I will still hesitate to take any medicine. I'm definitely a hard-headed person. Sigh.. Well, hopefully I'll get well as soon as possible..

By the way, I wish all the best and good luck to the O level candidates who're taking their Mother Tongue exam tomorrow. Give your best shot everyone! Especially my dear friend Nina. I know you can do it babe! Have faith in yourself! :)

I gotta go. Update again when I'm free. Bye bloghoppers.

Sekelumit cinta sekurun kerinduan

Ku rempuhi ranjau duka

Membara sehangat api

Terhapus sepi di hati ku

Oh Tuhanku

Tabahkan hatiku

Temukanku dengan ketenangan.

Jiwa ini dibelasah rindu tetapi apa dayaku

Ku cuba pejam mata tapi tak terlena

Kerana ku masih teringat padamu

Begitu payahnya nak ku melupakan

Pernakah engkau fikirkan oh sayang..

498th post

2010-05-29T18:05:00.000-07:00

I'm craving for Starbuck's Vanilla Latte or Mocha Frappucino!!!!(although I've just dranked it a couple of days ago, I can never get enough of savouring it. Never!) Aghhh! Starbucks is totally loved. Well, Katek owes me Starbucks anyway, because I helped him a lot by writing long, sweet and touching quote for his significant other to an extent that the girl is touched by those heartfelt words. Ehem, tgk laa saper yg buatkn. Nie minah bkn sembarang minah okay. Nie minah, minah jiwang karat nye. Kate Fifa, Miss Sentimental mah. One and only, you know. Heheh. :) And despite the fact that I'm sick, recently I enjoy disturbing and annoying people especially Katek until he's actually fucking pissed off with me and constantly gave me that kind of shit face. Hahahahahah! Like what the heck is wrong with me. -___-

By the way, I've already watched KL DRIFT 2 in Youtube last week - to be exact, I watched it twice on the same day - with Katek and Fadli. It's totally an action-packed movie and fantabulous. I never regret watching it, not even a speck of it. And I give the movie a rating of 4/5. *2 thumbs up* If only beloved cousin is here to watch this guy's acting in KL Drift 2, he definitely will laugh his ass off for sure. Hahah. He really has issues with that guy. That actor's just not fierce enough, bleargh. His acting is like so kaku. -__ - Comparing between him and my cousin, I'd prefer my cousin gazillion times more because he's just so versatile. He can bring out all sorts of character extremely well, from humorous type to a romantic type and to a ferocious gangster type. Just everything, you name it all. And I miss seeing him singing. His singing voice is just so powerful and charming. He's my entertainer, comedian, and my counsellor. He's just capable of doing everything. That explains why he's the best and a respectable man whom I seriously idolize all along.. He's my role model. :) -reminiscing back those wonderful times- Sigh, I wonder what and how he's doing right now. Missing him every single day.. :(

Well I'm freaking famished right now. My stomach is making loud gargling, churning noises! So friggin' ravenous. Dad's still cooking. Once I'm done eating later on, am gonna continue revising Engineering Maths 1 for the test the day after tomorrow. Wish me luck okay! And tonight, wanna read Hot and Manja magazines which I bought, and Sezairi was on Manja's cover for this month. Speaking of him, I seriously love his latest single's "Broken". :} Ang moh accent siaa! Okay gotta go, bye! :)

I'm going to write "I Miss You" on all of the bricks and I wish that one of the bricks falls on your head, so that you know how it hurts when you miss someone special like how I miss you.

497th post

2010-05-28T09:58:00.000-07:00

Love my Ahgong Troy, my Mother Wenjing and my Sis Haifaa. We're one happy family. :) ♥

Okay so, I screwed up badly for EPT lab test(as a matter of fact I totally suck at doing all of the practicals) yesterday. So I gotta do well for other component of subjects which are Engineering Maths 1, Circuit Analysis and Digital Fundamental for upcoming tests on this Monday to Wednesday. Thus I haven't any plans for this long weekend but to mug all the way for upcoming tests. And then, HOLIDAY STARTS ON THIS THURSDAY TILL 20TH JUNEEEE! WOOHOOOO! I seriously need a break at this point of time.

Kthxbai.

496th post

2010-05-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

Kucuba untuk jadi yang terbaik
Namun ada dia yang lebih kau cinta
Yang lebih kau cinta
Namun ku akan terus berusaha
Untuk memenangi walaupun ku tahu
Kecewa jua akhirnya

Mengapa tak dapat aku memadamkan
Kenangan manis bersamamu
Bahagia yang aku harap-harapkan
Tak ingin aku rasa dipertandingkan
Sehingga diri diperbandingkan
Untuk selamanya

Ketika cinta ini masih lagi bertakhta
Selagi jiwa ini masih jua ingin dipuja
Katakanlah padaku di mana kekurangannya
Untuk kita bahagia berdua saja

Bisakah aku jadi yang terbaik
Kerna ada dia yang lebih kau cinta
Yang lebih kau cinta
Yang Lebih Kau Cinta - Fauziah Latiff

To the innocent ones whom I vented anger on, I'm sorry. To the people whom I unintentionally hurled vulgars on or offended, I'm sorry. And to the people, especially my group of cliques whom I've been showing sulky face at, and for my attitude problem & wrongdoing sometimes, I sincerely apologise for my behaviour. I'm really sorry for everything. Not in my best mood recently. There always comes to a point of time when I keep thinking that how heartwrenching it is when it's hard to forget someone who made such a huge impact in my life. And how intolerable it feels to have cope with missing a lot of your loved ones who're suddenly gone from your life. All you wanna do is just to break down.. Break down and cry.

There were days when I couldn’t help myself from sobbing as my fingers run along the buttons of these keyboard. There were days that it was so hard for me to accept that we’re living separate lives now, looking at things as if we’re strangers. The pain and sorrows you brought me was not easy to forget. And there were days when you were my inspiration, and also the one flooding my mind with emotions so hard to put into words. Now.. when your name escape my lips, it doesn’t give me a certain tingling emotion anymore. But instead, you left a hole in my heart when you walked out the door and you’re just another memory to me.

I'm emotionally unstable for the time being. All I need right now is to be alone to somewhere peaceful where it helps to alleviate my sorrows. And only time can heal.

495th post

2010-05-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

AT LAST, my presentation was done and over with! -Jumps up and down- Before the presentation, I was really freaking damn nervous and my heart was like beating very fast uncontrollably. And I was so worried and kept asking myself, what if my presentation won't be interesting at all?? But after the presentation, I swear I'm so freaking satisfied over my performance and my 7 slides that I presented when I compared them to the rest of my classmates'. Alhamdulillah, it went well smoothly. Thank God all along my efforts didn't go to waste and thanks to classmates for showing me moral support throughout while presenting. I know I've done my very best that I received lots of compliments(one of which was, I was very loud & clear and I didn't manage to bore even a single soul, which is a freaking good thing) from my classmates once I was done. :) Heee. Am happy to the max, apparently! The topic(mine's about CLEAN ENERGY okayyyy! Pfft) was so freaking damn hard, but yet, I tried to make the slides interesting. And yes! Thank God my classmates didn't lay down their bloody head on the table but instead, they were so energetic & convincing upon seeing my slides. Haha. My prayers have been answered, Amin! And at last setelah sekian lama, beban aku da abes!! HAHAHAH. The rest yg present nxt week, good luck to you all laa eh. Hahahahhah.

Okay now I've to concentrate for upcoming quiz which is Circuit Analysis & Digital Fundamental this Friday. Haizzz. :(

Finally, I told Troy that he really reminds me of my cousin. Told him the whole story of what happened to my cousin. Thank you for being my listening ear dude. Thank you for making me feel better. I totally appreciate it. Just wanna say this again, I seriously appreciate your existence in my life.. :)

494th post

2010-05-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

Oh my dearest one. Everyday when I come home from school, when I'm tired, stress & pressurised, you're the only one who managed to erase my stress off completely by making me laugh with your funny & cute acts. Seriously you're my best & cutest entertainer. It was a sad thing that I lost a loved one just for momentarily, but yet I gained another. Ever since I lost my beloved cousin(lost, not completely lost. He'll come back to my life once again in 2 years' time & I seriously can't wait for that moment to come), I met you, a beautiful human being who entered my world. You light up my everyday life. Thank you for taking over cousin's position, in terms of entertainment.

And through here, I wanna wish HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED LIL SIS! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DEAREST BABY JEPUN (and like what my beloved cousin calls her, ACHOM!!!! -which is a translation of the word 'Cute' in French. Hahah.) !! MUAH MUAH! -hugs and kisses-

Like finally, she has turned exactly 1 year old today! But in fact if you see her in real life, she doesn't look like a 1 year old. She really looks like a 6 months old because she's just so small. Aww, hahah. And though she's already a year old, she has yet to walk! Hope she gets to walk as soon as possible, and also the ability to finally talk and not to forget, to pronounce the word 'Kakak'. Waiting for that moment to arrive. Heheheh. Well, I pray that as sis grows up, she'll become a religious person, a filial sister & daughter just like her elder sister, and also become a successful person one day who makes us proud. Insyallah, I hope for the best in her. :) Amin!

Anyway went to TM with family and Pakteh yesterday. We ate at Food Culture at Century Square first and then we headed to Toys 'R' Us and each of us bought presents(that were already wrapped by wrapping paper) for lil sis which we'll give it to her later. Mom bought Ice-cream cake in Swensen's, Dad bought 2-in 1 telephone and piano and Pakteh bought a hammer whereby when you knock that hammer plushie thingy, the song 'Happy Birthday' will appear. And I bought humongous Spongebob plushie as a present which cost 29.90 bucks. :) Later in the afternoon, Me, Mom, Dad, Sis, Makteh, Pakteh, Pakcik Nuar along with his girlfey, Fadil, Fadli, Kak Yah and her 2 children will celebrate lil sis birthday by going to Rasa-rasa Thai restaurant to have our seafood! Then we'll be singing a Happy Birthday song to lil sis through ice-cream hazelnut Swensen's cake. :) I hope today will be a great & meaningful day. Once again, happy 1st dearest sis. Love you lots.

I've been encountering family problems in this house. And now, a part of it is being resolved though sometimes I have a sense of sympathy over that person, but it's for the best for us before anything happens and also he'll get good treatment there. Hope he gets well soon. I would like to thank Nina & Zul for being there for me. Thank you for putting yourselves in my shoes. Thank you for being my listening ear and for providing me advice. Thank you for everything. Both of you are the only friends who understand me the most. I appreciate it. <3 <3

493rd post

2010-05-14T22:27:00.000-07:00

Hey peeps! I just reached home and I swear I'm so freaking tired right now. Sighh. Well, ever since I'm packed with school, I really lost contact with most of my online friends recently and it honestly sucks. I miss Nina(whom I'm chatting with right now and it feels great having to chat online with her after such a long time), I miss Saadah, and I miss Ifaaah! Omg Ifah. It's been eons I think she's forgotten me completely. :( But I hope not. I seriously hope she's able to contact me asap. Miss my online friends truckloads. I wonder if they even miss me at all. :( Everyone of us is busy with our own lives.

Okay so, school has been alright. Classes today started at 10am and ended at 2, since there was Jam & Hop for TP anniversary last friday when the class was held for only 1 hour that ended at 11am, there was make-up class just now for Digital Fundamental. Seriously 2 bloody hours of DFund1 tutorial by that tutor was fucking hell. 2 hours was like 2 days, mind you. Okay exaggerating much. But seriously whenever there's DFund tutorial, a minute that passed by seemed like an hour. Because it was so damn boring & monotonous and seriously there's sooo much gazillion stuffs that I've to absorb in my mind. I just can't cope with it sometimes that I feel like giving up. Really really. Sigh. But I guess I should revise and practise a lot for that subject including Circuit Analysis because honestly, I'm really lagging behind and I don't ever wanna flunk for any of the subjects. Though it may seem kinda difficult to pass them as the standard is really beyond mega ultra hard to an extent that I swear I'm on the verge of crying because I can't take with the pressure, but I believe di mana ade kemahuan, di situ ada highway. If there's a will, there's a way. Maybe I'll revise it all over again and know it step by step, and insyallah, hopefully I'm able to pass for every subjects in the final year and get at least B for my GPA. May my prayers be answered. I'm seriously scared right now. :'( -cross fingers-

Okay then, at 2.30pm right after classes ended, I straightaway went to Bugis with Wen Jing since Haifaa had to meet someone and Troy.. he always sticks with *ehem* that someone recently. Which FINALLY, I repeat, FINALLYYYYYY Troy told me, 'Mother' Wenjing and 'Kakak' Haifaa in Facebook that at last he admitted that he has feelings for her. Someone from our class. Hahahah! I told you dude, you can't cheat your feelings lah. -eyebrow up up- Through that unexplainable moment of eye contact of yours towards her and the kind of extreme closeness when you're with her, it's so damn obvious that you really like her but yet you kept denying it until you admitted it now. Haha. Well, hope someday when you're ready to confess your feelings towards her, she gets to accept your love. No matter what happens, I'll always be behind your back okay Ahgong! :)

Okay, back to the story. We went to Bugis because we had to buy buttoned formal shirt and pants for speech this Tuesday. Going out with Wenjing was really a blast. She's great and enjoyable. ;)) We ate at BK's first, and then it's a sad thing that there wasn't a lot of choices to buy pants in Bugis Junction. So we headed to TM and we were searching around until when we were in Isetan, we SUDDENLY bumped into Haris, our classmate, who's the only malay guy in our class. Mane2 aku g, aku mesti terserempak ngn kaw laa Haris. Haizz... Hahah. Well, I've to admit that I used to have a crush on him. But nah, not to an extent that I fall in love. And furthermore my heart still belongs to him. Hati aku masey setia pade laki tu. Haizz.. Apakan daya. Masih tk mampu melupakannya kerana dia lah seorang insan yg amat aku sayangi.. Okay so, of all the places, we bumped into him in Isetan(what a small world) and he was alone and when asked where his girlfriend(who's our classmate as well) was, he said he wanted to be alone to somewhere. -__- Okay then, he went somewhere else and we went other places. With the help of Wenjing's cousin, I managed to buy suitable pants in Isetan and buttoned shirt in Topshop. Thanks girls for the help. :)

And omg, nobody knows how nervous I am for speech next week. Seriously I hope I'm able to do well and get good grades for the presentation and pass for the "Writing & Oral". I hope the slides that I made and the information that I got from Google are enough to convince the readers that I really do well and had made a lot of effort. I also hope when I present later on, I, or even the slides, won't manage to bore the hell out of my classmates to an extent that they can actually lie down on the table. No, no. I don't want that to happen. I hope everything goes well and smoothly. Hehe. Insyallah. :)

Anyway Troy.. You really remind me of my cousin. Really you do. :( It's not about the looks(maybe just a bit of it, since you're Malay & Chinese mixed), but it's about the height that both of you are so freaking tall, your cool fashion sense, your character and most importantly the personality. Yes, the personality. It's really the same. Maybe because I seriously miss my cousin and because of that, God made Troy exist in my life. Troy, who really remind me of my cousin. Thank you God. And thanks to you Troy, you seriously make me at least ease the pain of missing my cousin so much. Alhamdulillah. Maybe for everything that happens lies a wisdom. Well, I need to visit my cousin too asap! :( Miss you cousinnnnnnnnnnn! Miss you miss you miss youu!!

P/s : Boy, now I know why I haven't been seeing you in a while, 3 months to be exact. Because thanks to what I saw in Fb, you've moved.. To another place. A place that is far far away from here. That's one of the most heartwrenching & grief-stricken feelings I ever experienced. Well, human beings are kinda funny sometimes, yeah? When the last time I really kept wishing & praying that I didn't want to see you again because seeing you really fucking hurts, but opposite things happened in a way that you kept appearing in front of my eyes at the most random time, but now when I really hope to see you again because though it will hurt me seeing you(maybe for one last time) helps to ease of how I miss you, but yet.. I can no longer see you again.. Each & every time I passed by your block- 5 blocks away from mine, I really felt this heart been chewed deep inside whenever I see memories of us there.. Lots of fond memories.. And then I tend to look at your bedroom window, which I realise you're no longer there. I still can't believe you no longer live there. This kind of feeling just crashed me down all of a sudden. And my heart has been crying for your presence until now... I dearly miss you boy. I miss you more than I like to admit.

492nd post

2010-05-09T01:18:00.000-07:00

P/s: Pardon for my ugliness. And thanks to the extremely humid weather, my skin is getting darker. :/

Me and Mother Wenjing. :)

Kakak Haifaa & Mother Wenjing. :)

& that sex bands which I'm talking about - that we combined to make it look like Chanel Icon - to show as a "trademark" that we're *ehem* a f-a-m-i-l-y. Heh.

Webcam! Though for the fact that the 3 of us were less than a meter away. Just for fun, duh.

It's a pity that Troy wasn't there at that point in time. But it's okay, the four of us can always take pictures together next time, as happy family. Don't worry, there's still time right? :)

Hanging out with bestf in Tamp yesterday was really enjoyable. It's really hard for us to meet up ever since we're packed and busy with our schools respectively. Will always miss her to the core, and wish her success in pursuing her Nursing & Paramedic course. I believe she can do well and go far for that course. :) Jadi pape kalau aku saket ker, jatuh terlentang,(selisih) bole laa aku carik kaw eh Noni. Hahahah.

Anywayyy. I would like to wish HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of the mothers out there, including my beloved Mom! & Mom.. no words can express how I seriously appreciate everything that you've done towards me. The incalculable sacrifices you provide me all this while, the happiness, love and care you give me, the wonderful scrumptious dishes that you cook everyday, the listening ear you become when I needed one, just everything that you do towards me, I really appreciate it from the bottomest of my heart. Though sometimes you may think that I don't appreciate the good things you do because I don't let it out, but deep down inside I really sincerely thank you for everything. May Allah bless you with much much happiness, joy, health, wealth, and love. Happy Mothers' Day, Mom. Love you. ♥

491st post

2010-05-08T12:32:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! How are you all? Okay? Fine? Well as for me, I'm extremely great here as usual. I'm very blessed to have lead a great life in school and at home all this while, and really, there's nothing I could ask for more. :) Okay so, I had lots of fun spending time with my wonderful cliques in school, who're Haifaa, Wenjing and Troy. They're enjoyable to be with. :D Never regret knowing them deeper. And yeah, we're already like a family. Haifaa is like my 'Kakak', Wenjing is like my 'Ahma' and Troy is like my 'Ahgong'. Hahahah. So which means, I'm the youngest of all, (actually it's Troy who's supposed to be the youngest because he was born in August, but since he's so freaking tall, he's the oldest. And really, he's my best sporting grandfather lah. Hahaha.), so I'm the 'Adik'. Though I'm the youngest, at least I'm mature and not as childish as Kakak and Ahma. Hahahah.

To prove that we're one family, the four of us wear the same black sex band thing on our wrist and we combined the 2 bands like a "Chanel" icon, like how most of the gangsters wear. Yeah, that kind. And no, we're not gangster. We're fighters. Fighters, I don't mean physically. Fighters through mentally. We're SOUL SURVIVOR. Yeaaa baby! (:

And yesterday was the first time we all went out. We headed to airport to study. The first thing that we did when we reached there was eat. While eating, we crapped as usual. And after which, Troy had to leave because he had something important to attend to, so left with the 3 of us. And instead of studying in the airport, we made a lot of noises there. Story-tell about our lives, web-camming, took pictures(I hope Haifaa won't upload the pics in Facebook because really, I look freaking ugly. -__-") . And moral of the story : Don't ever study with a group of friends because you'll be distracted and you can't concentrate on your studies. Hahah.

Well, I realise as days went by, I realise the four of us were all getting closer because we were like knowing one another's background, which I think is a good thing. Mm-hmm. :)

Regarding the subjects, it was oookay. But I really suck at practical. Sigh. I think I'm gonna flunk the lab component because I really didn't know how to do it. And it's kinda unfair when some of my classmates were able to do everything in lab. They have the advantage because they studied DnT for their O's but whereas for me, I studied POA and it's like not related to the subjects at all. Sigh. I'm just afraid if I'll fail badly for practical. So that implies that I really have to do well for Lecture and Tutorial component. Pffft.

Aside that. It's Mother's Day tomorrow! -beams- Well, I'm planning to get a big box of Ferrero Rocher for Mom because I don't know what else to buy. And itu je laa modal aku, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate. Tk abes2 eh. LOL. Was planning with Fadli to buy an extra humongous cake for our mothers, but since Dad already orders the cake for Mom, I plan to buy chocs. Hope she likes it. :/

Okay, I gotta go and bathe and then get ready later. Meeting bestf at 2. Gotta chill at somewhere with her since she needs my laptop to do project and I need her help in wrapping the present. :) See ya people.

490th post

2010-05-02T15:44:00.000-07:00

HELLOOOO READERS!! :D YO, SUP!

Oh my goddd. It's been such an indefinite long period of time(for almost 2 weeks) since I last blogged. Because I've been really busy with my school stuffs, and if you notice, I'm hardly online during the weekdays, and even the weekends sometimes. Nowadays I find it hard to lay my fingers on this precious lappy because I need to deal with the projects and TRUCKLOADS of homeworks to an extent that I can be really freaking beyond stressful. Yes. Define the word 'Stress'. And initially I thought poly life is somehow a relaxing moment, but I never thought poly life is THIS much stressful, gazillion times more pressurised than secondary school's, and even O's. Ughh. And if you've this mindset that poly life is slack to the maximum, you deserve to be slapped. You're totally wrong. 2 weeks of school and I'm already stressed up like I wanna commit suicide already.(okay not. That's the most foolish decision to make). -_____-

But on a lighter note, I'm leading a beautiful and great school life right now, despite all of the stress that I encountered, because the presence of my lovely classmates are part of the reason why I'm looking forward to school everyday. They're like the booster in making me have the motivation to study. They make my days worth every seconds. I thank God because finally do I be able to feel the extreme closeness and strong bonds within us. :) On the very first day of school, we were totally shy and behaved like zombies, but now we're like monkeys jumping around, matter-of-factly. Hahahahahah! Seriously they're awesome bunch of human beings. :) I sincerely hope 3 years being with them would be a memorable and pleasant one. Insyallah.

Well, I've completed doing the Powerpoint slides for my presentation speech(and bummer, my topic is on Clean Energy -___-), and I've to present it in front of my class(yes, I admit I kinda have stage fright. :/) this Tuesday, but let's hope everything will go smoothly and calmly. I wanna get the speech done and over with as soon as possible! Okay, I suppose that's all I'll update momentarily. And I'll rarely update my blog since I'm gonna be really packed with lots of stuffs in upcoming days. So wait for my updates later when I'm free, bye!

P/s : Dear You, at unlikely times, you still tend to creep into my thoughts. The memories that we once conquered attacks me when I least expect it. It haunts me frequently. I don't wanna even think about it, but it just comes naturally you know?? & I'm painfully aware that I'm not over you yet.. I never fail to keep looking at your/our pics in my phone everytime, and without realising it, I'm on the verge of crying. And whenever I listen to sentimental music which lyrics are related to us, I can't help but cried.. I couldn't take with the pain of seeing your pictures but yet, I really miss you. Right now my life revolves without your existence by my side. Yes.. I did mention I've been leading a blissful life but look, wouldn't my life be beautiful and complete if you're my property and never left me and you didn't change in the first place?? You know.. I hate how we used to become as memories. I still can't forget you. No matter how hard I try to erase you off my mind completely, I STILL FUCKING CAN'T. It's so damn frustrating. Because it's been 3 freaking years, I repeat 3 YEARS that I've been having indescribable feelings for you.. And then.. I dreamt of you last night. How could that not have made me have the tendency to miss you more? & Recently, I haven't been seeing you for quite long, though we live just 5 blocks away. But please, I hope we bump into each other soon.. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just wanna see your face again once more, although I know it'll hurt me like hell. But I know that at the same time, it's going to somehow cure tiny weeny portion of my heart because I just miss seeing your face. I guess that's the only thing I could ask from you for now. I'm longing to see you boy. I need to see you again, even if it takes a short while.. :'(

489th post

2010-04-18T05:51:00.000-07:00

Whenever I see your face, you always remind me of Abg Man. :( You'll always be remembered.

At this point of time, I'm still grieved over the fact that Achik Spin passed away yesterday's afternoon. As soon as I found out the news, I was really totally shocked and astonished. And.. my jaws were like dropped wide open. It's like the realisation has kicked me hard in the stomach, I just couldn't believe that he had passed away. Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun. It was a huge blow to me. Because I'm really a biggest fan of him and his great songs.. You know I feel like crying right now. :'(

But well, everyone of us has to depart to another world one day, but we only don't know when. Ajal terletak di tangan Tuhan. Al-fatihah to Arwah Achik Spin. Dan semoga Tuhan mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya dan semoga ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Amin.

488th post

2010-04-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

Here's some of the pictures for our orientation. ;)

Girls group pic with Joel, our mentor.

And this one, my fav girls group pic. ;)

From the left, Nerwany, Haseena, I-dont-know-who-this-sesat-girl-is, and Wen Jing. :)

The orientation was really really awesome. As a matter of fact, through this orientation camp, it makes me and my classmates form strong bonds among one another. And the mentors & camp leaders who guided us, had really made a great impact in our lives. We seriously appreciate for all of the effort that they had put in just to make us enjoy every events. It was really enjoyable and an unforgettable experience to me.

I still remembered that in the first day, we were all behaving like "zombies", stoning all the way because we didn't know one another at all. But after plenty of ice-breaker games with Joel, Priscilla, Kim, Fauzul, we started to talk with one another and that kind of chemistry began to rise. In the afternoon, had mass dance and we really enjoyed it so much. Then on the second day, we made a lot of cheers, which one of them goes something like, "Check ko fifa, Go fifa langkar, O Ma lele, Engine is the best ahhh! ..." My name or what? Haha! And we played lots of new interesting games along with Joel, our mentor. He's really damn hilarious lah, and to me, he's the best leader amongst all, I swear. I don't feel regretful, not even a speck of it, knowing him deeper.We seriously had lots of fun, laughter here and there. I swear I laughed till I cried. :')

On the third day itself, we've Olympiad and Dragon Boat Regetta. That's when we screamed our lungs out and cheered for those people in Engineering School who were competing against the other 5 schools, Design, Business, Applied Science, IT, Humanities & Social Sciences. And though Engineering School didn't win overall(which Business school did), we won the REGETTA in the first place. Our team spirit is really beyond unusual. I gave out my 100% loud voice sincerely from my heart, of course, just to support them. And I was about to have sore throat because my voice started to change in a way that it became hoarse, but thank God I didn't lose my voice since I drank up gazillions bottle of watter. Phew. Nevertheless, I had so much FUN screaming for them. I really love the team spirit. <3

When everything had ended, my heart felt really quite heavy to leave our mentors, because although it was just 3 days being with them, I already felt the beyond extreme closeness within us. Then there was heartfelt moments whereby when we were saying a "Thank You" cheer, Joel cried(see the picture above. Aww) unlike Fauzul, who's on the left. And Kim on the right, who wore specs were trying to hold his tears but couldn't in the end to an extent that he ran to the toilet. Awww! Because really really, from the bottom of our hearts, we sincerely appreciate everything that they had taught us. They're really the best.

And this is JOEL, THE BEST OF THE BEST! \m/ And yes Joel like what you said, we're one of the best classes you've seen. Whee. :) Since the orientation camp was over, they were no longer with us as we'll be starting school next Monday already. But it's okay, we'll still keep in touch in Facebook, handphone right right? :D And if there's any chance I bump into you in upcoming days, I'm so apparently gonna say HI! Haha.

Before going home, we took our group pic, my class R1002, R001, level leader and mentor.

Find me if you can. Hahahahah. ENGINE, LET'S EXPLODE! WOOOOHOOO!!! WOOHOO WOOHOOOOO! \m/

\m/ <3 See how enthusiastic we are.

They rock to the core, that's all I can say.

Anyway, I've gotten our matric card, booklet, timetable and the best part is my class starts at 9am everyday. WOOHOOOO!! Best or what? And it ends at 1pm on Mon, Wed and Fri, and ends at 4pm every Tues and Thurs. I loveeeeeee the timetable. ;) ;) But as what our care-person says, the first semester will be a very relaxing schedule for us, but once the second semester is up, our schedule is gonna be really packed. But who cares?! Because at the end of the day, what really matters is I can't wait to studyyyyyyy with my new classmates! And this course, Media & Communication Tech which I'm in, is related to Maths and Science. OF COURSE I'M HAPPY BECAUSE I LOVE MATHS AND SCIENCE!! AHAHAHAHA! :D Well regarding my new classmates, I've known literally everyone(well maybe. Because I think I'm still not sure of some chinese guy's names) of their names. And I'm kinda comfortable with Malay girls especially Haifaa, Haseena and Hazirah. The 'HaHaHa' girls. LOL. And oh, Shairah as well. Girl-power uh they all. ;)

Well anyway, I won't be using laptop that much. So I might not be updating my blog for next few days. But you can find my updates in Plurk & Twitter. Do ask me personally if you need it. Take care people. Do enjoy your life because I'm enjoying it to the fullest right now. And you know... this is the first time I've FINALLY moved on with my life. It was of a surprise to me that I'm over him. & Boy, this current blog song, Over You - Chris Daughtry, dedicates to you. Read those lyrics because they best define how my heart beats right now. Well maybe right now, I'm starting to be busy with lots of stuffs to an extent that it's hard for me to ponder over my past. It's like I've stepped into a new world where my new chapter of life already begins. I'm thankful to God to have lead a very blissful life in my new school, and with my beloved family. I hope this will continue for the rest of my life... Insyallah.

Amin.

487th post

2010-04-07T00:41:00.000-07:00

Yay yay! I'VE LOST BACK 3KG!! WOOHOOOO! Because you know why, because I cut down on food intake but that doesn't mean I'm starving to death. Fret not, as I'm still maintaining a balanced diet. ;) Okay. Omgggg, I'm so freaking contented in such a way that I can't bear to gain weight again. Sigh, I really have had ENOUGH of gaining, then eventually losing, but after a while gaining back and it goes on and on, like a stock market goes up and down repetitively you know. It's like a torment to me, since all along my surplus effort in losing weight had gone to waste. Pfft. So.. I guess from now onwards, I've to refrain from fastfood, and all of the most fattening, oily and unhealthiest food as possible as I can.

And hopefully I'm able to lose 10 more pounds and I'll be on top of the world already! ;) ;) Insyallah, I can make it.

I'm sorry sometimes I get a little jealous thinking that someone else could make you happier than I could. I guess it's my insecurities acting up. Because I know that I'm not the prettiest, smartest or most fun and exciting girl. But I do know that no matter how hard and long I look, you'll never find somebody that loves you like I do.

486th post

2010-04-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

"Mengapa harus berjumpa lagi
Sekadar melepas rindu tak bererti
Tidak perlu kau bercerita
Tentang dirimu yang sudah berpunya
Ku tahu kau bahgia bersamanya
Hapuskan sahaja kenangan cinta kita"
; Masih ada Rindu - The Unwanted

10pm, come faster please. Yeah, you're right. I wanna listen to KC's hilarious session in 89.7fm. KC and the "chipmunk" never fail to cheer me up and make me laugh, especially when I'm upset, grief-stricken or having a bad mood. They never fail to enliven my mundane weeknights. They're the ones who manage to cure my sadness, in terms of entertainment. And in fact, occasionally there comes to a point of time when I was listening to radio through my earpiece phone, and Mom tends to ask me, "Asl ngn kaw? Gile eh ketawe sorg2?" I said, " Hahahahah, tkde, KC nie uh buat org ketawe pecah perut. Die buat kelakar siaa. Hahah." Seriously, thanks to KC, my family members thought I'm some deranged girl who laughs alone for no apparent reason.

And sometimes the callers as well, play a supportive role(I suddenly remembered Social Studies because we all had to use those words in the subject last time.) in making me laugh too. Especially when KC held this particular programme whereby the contestants have to do acting related to the topic, and my most favourite part is when the guys who have to sound like a woman's voice because that's when it makes me burst into hysterical laughter the most. HAHAHHAHAHAH! But no matter what, KC is still the best. He's enough to make me laugh like nuts since he's extremely humorous by nature. He's my best deejay so far. I serously need lots of laughter right now.

And if only my cousin is here, we would have listened to MJ12 like we always did every night. And now he's not here, there's no one who's willing to listen to MJ12 with me, so if I were to listen it alone I know I'm gonna have few insomnia nights because it's freaking scared to the utmost core. If only cousin is here.. I wouldn't have been that scared knowing he's my best comfort company. Speaking of him, I received a letter from him few days ago and it made me smile broadly upon reading it. Because seriously, I was SHOCKED to have seen his current usage of English. It's so proficient and well-written. Like woa. He thanked me beneath all that because I'm part of the reason why his English is improving tremendously, since I used to teach him English, as in the grammars and vocabulary. Well, I'm so glad for him because whatever that I teach him still absorbs in his brain. He learns a lot. :) As a matter of fact I've learnt a lot of useful stuffs from him too to an extent that it had made me gain my maturity a lot. No words can describe how beyond appreciative I am towards him.

I miss him, and I wanna pay him a visit soon.

P/s : Fuck you Youtube, you're really getting on my nerves. _|_

485th post

2010-04-04T01:19:00.000-07:00

I took a walk at the park in the afternoon because I needed to ease my mind. For me, strolling and enjoying the breeze and the surrounding helps to alleviate my sorrows, stress, frustration, tension, and every negative feelings that were stored within me. And the lyrics in my current blog somehow describe how I'm feeling, and it's a way of me sending a message to you. I didn't know why I still care about you when for the fact that you don't already give a damn on me anymore. I don't know why I keep visiting your FB profile when for the fact that you're the cause of this invisible scar of mine. It seems that the way you confess your deep love towards her, who happens to be my former primary schoolmate, is really chewing my heart deep inside. It's like being stabbed right into this piece of fragile organ.. Of course, it's the most hurtful thing I felt for the moment. I was out of breath because I couldn't handle with the pain. That's why people say, one of the most saddening thing is when you love someone, who used to be in love with you, is now in love with someone else. And then you begin to feel like nightmare haunts you once again and that you're such a helpless person because the person whom you totally love doesn't love you back.. Can you like feel what I'm feeling? If you can't, fit your ass in my shoes and then you'll know what EXACTLY I'm feeling.

Sigh. I'm trying my best to refrain from talking about this anymore. The more I ponder over this, the more impatient I get in wanting to begin a new chapter of life in my school, TP. I've had enough of what happened in my past. But no matter what, good memories will always be treasured by me.

Well anyway, AnugeraHitz just now was so happening. & omg Didi, you cheered me up and sooth my heart tremendouslyyyy, y'know! <3 <3 <3 You're so freaking hot tonight, with that fangs of yours which really makes me melt my heart. Awwwww! :) :) :) :) :) ♥ ♥ ♥ And I'm contented(I was kinda worried that he didn't win in any of the categories. What's up with me? Lol. Duh, am a big fan of him of course.) that he managed to bring home 2 awards ; the first one for Popular Artiste which he got in the 3rd place and the second one for Most Popular Song which is entitled "Impianku". Sleeq and Didi really really really deserve the award because that song, is one of my favourites which I was so totally obsessed with and it's like I'd been possessed by "Impianku" because damn, it's so freaking addictive. It used to be stuck in my head for weeks or months, I kid you not. That's why I say, Sleeq is so far the best RnB composer locally to me. ;)

Speaking of Most Popular song, the other 2 songs which are being won entitled "Nafasku" and "Kepadanya" by Taufik and Hady. Those songs are my favouritesssss too so Didi, Sleeq, Taufik and Hady really deserve the award for this category. -thumbs up- !

& oh, I was right, wasn't I? Taufik attained the first place for Most Popular Artiste, because come on, he has the most number of fans in Facebook compared to others who are nomineed as well. 383894726150 girls just go gugugaga over him. As for me, what I preferably like about him is his dancing style, his unique voice and his great songs. I seriously like most of his songs.

Well, I'm hoping that in few years' to come, Didi will take over Taufik's place. Hahah. But sadly to say that in my opinion the other recent songs that he composed by himself is not that really good. ): But unless if the quality of his song Dambaan(my all-time favourite) is as the same as the rest of his songs, then confirm meletup beb!! I guarantee he'll be such a talented guy to an extent that he can replace Taufik's position. Hah. But no matter what, am hoping the best for Didi. :)

& oh, I just found out that Didi's birthday falls on 15th July. We're July babieeeees! No wonder we can get along well with each other. HAHAHAH!

Okay, let's end my post with this picture of a guy whom I idolize here.

Awww. <3 <3 <3 Oh Didi, thank you for putting a smile on my face. :)

484th post

2010-04-03T03:19:00.000-07:00

Faizah was chatting with me on MSN, and she asked me if I'm going to UNGU's concert this 24th april which will be held in Singapore Indoor Stadium. Well, I wished I can go but I've no money to pay for the tickets which are really so unaffordable. And I'm kinda jealous of her because she's going. :( But heard from her that Ungu will be in the City Plaza tomorrow afternoon for roadshow to promote their mega historical concert. I wanna go and meet Pashaaa but.. sigh. The place is gonna be crowded and packed like sardines for sure. And I detest extremely crowded places. It's okay, there's still some other time and hopefully by the time, I'm loaded enough to go to their concert. Hmm. Looks like I've to miss the opportunity this time round. Oh Pasha, I'm sorry for not being able to meet you later. I promise, next time okay. :( I wish you continue succeed in music industry.

On a lighter note, AnugeraHitz will be showing in Suria tonight. And I've this very strong instinct that Taufik will bring home the award for Most Popular Artiste category. Because just look at him now. He's really so popular right now, isn't he? Hahahah. And oh, not forgetting my idol Didicazli too. May he get the award for "Best Composer", "Best Album" or "Best Artiste" category. Wish him all the best. :) Can't wait to watch them in tv screennn!

And right now, I'm chatting with Naddy. Seriously whenever I chat or talk to her, she'll always tend to make me laugh uncontrollably. Hahahahahah! And yesterday was her official 18th birthday. Ceh kaw da bole amek license uh. Hahah. Speaking of which, I can't wait to take driving license too!! AND OMG, I CAN GO CRAZY OVER SPORTS CAR, FERRARI CAR & DRIFT CAR. AGHHHH! I hope when I pass the license test, and when I can afford to buy one of those cars, I will buy it for sure. And then I wanna go racing just like how you see in KL Drift, Tokyo Drift and Fast and Furious. Hahahahah. Nah, just kidding. It's so illegal to race in Singapore. But! I repeat, one day I'm so gonna buy SPORTS CAR OR FERRARI or... this goddamn motherfucking beautiful car here.. -looks down-

LAMBORGHINI. OMGGGG. -eyes popped up-. Loved. I like its style, features and its colour. Fuulermak.. I can go crazy, I tell you. This car is the only car that I can ask for. Because it's my dream car. <3 Dear my future-in-law lamborghini car, I'm so gonna buy you one day after I make it through with driving test and once I can afford to buy. Wait for me k my dear!! Insyallah, my wish will be fulfilled in the future. Amin! :))))

483rd post

2010-04-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY PEOPLE! :)

The first person that I pranked on was Katek. Fadli and I pulled a prank on him last night. And Fadli always come home from work every night at about 12-1am. Then coincidentally few days ago, there were such unusual incidents occured at that time and ALL of us in the living room heard a woman screaming and laughing for a long period of time outside the window. Really made us have goosebumps and can feel our heart popping out, okay. Because we rarely heard that kind of voices. Of course everyone of us were all scared to an extent that we kept wondering what if that thing followed Fadli every night, especially THAT night because he didn't wait outside the cigarrete and smoked the cigarette so that, that thing could not enter my house. But phew, thank God, nothing happened.

So last night was the best time to prank Katek in such a way that Fadli told Katek to wait for him around 12.30am under the void deck situated beside my block when actually our plan was that Fadli reached my house first. So we made Katek wait for 5 freaking minutes(I intend to drag it to 10-15 minutes, but we kinda sympathised him. Hahah!) and before 5 minutes was even over, he gave us missed calls but we purposely didn't pick up because we wanted to make him feel terrified to an extent that I saw him walking here and there, to and fro uncontrollably. Da nmpk sah penakut siaa!! HAHAH! The surrounding was so freaking eerie and creepy. I mean not the normal type of eerie, it's really an extremely unusual kind. It was just too quiet. As 5 minutes had passed, I shouted at him, "APRIL FOOL!!!!!!" as loud as I could outside the kitchen window. HAHAHAH! So he waited for nothing when actually Fadli had gone home first. He was kinda pissed off, actually. Because we were testing his cowardness and indeed he's a pure coward just like all of us. Hahahahah! So dude, you've got fooled by us. :P

And the second person that I pranked on was.. Nina. Lol! I made a new email and the id is aziz_sachok and my display name is Ajis. Ajis kepeee!! Style tk?? Lol wtf! I chatted with her in MSN and of course, she didn't freaking know who this "anonymous" person is. She thought it's really some guys who want to make friends with her when for the fact that I made a prank. Hhahahah, and she fell for it! I got her fooled! She got punked! Huahuahuahua! I did a good job, huh? -shows devil's horn-

Then pranked call bestf Noni. Told Fadli to pretend to be a "policeman" and here's how their conversation went.

Fadli : Hello. Is this Noraini Binte Kamisan?
Noni : Yes. -sounds delighted-
Fadli : I'm Inspector Fadli and I'm here to inform you that you're under arrest. Because you shoplift at one of the shopping centres in Orchard.
Noni : HAHAHAHAHAHHAH. Bloody hell.
Fadli : You cannot deny because your face was recorded in the camera. Please come down to Jurong HQ tomorrow at 2pm. If not, I come to your house and send you for imprisonment.
Noni : Shut up lah you. April Fool, I know lah! -continues laughing away-
Fadli : This is NO JOKE. Serious matter okay.
Noni : No joke in April Fool. Hahahahah.

Wth Noni! Wth. Hahahahah. So obviously, she didn't manage to fall in our trap. Damn it. Should have tried other tricks to prank her. Such clever ass, she is. -smirks-

And yes, there're people who tried pranking me too. But I didn't get fooled by anyone. Not even a soul because from the very first thing, I remind myself that no matter what random thing people have been saying to me, I know it's an April Fool prank. Don't try me, for once. Ahaha.

Wanna watch "Gelora Di Hati Sara" in Suria soon. Okay bye!

482nd post

2010-03-29T23:24:00.000-07:00

Thought the idiot is out to exasperate me again, but looks like he doesn't have guts to do it ever since the incident. Hahah. Serves him right. :)

Well, I've watched Adnan Sempit twice. :) The first time I watched was with Fadli, and the second time in addition with Katek. We had fun watching the movie in Youtube because it's extremely funny since Shaheizy Sam is the main actor. He brings amusing characters in the movie in which there's certain scenes which make me laugh damn freaking hard until my stomach aches because the dialogues that he bring out are just so funnaye! And not forgetting, by the way he talks and his expression really made me laugh my freaking ass off throughout. HAHA! Besides that, he's also great in bringing out ferocious intensity to the role in Evolusi KL Drift(I think) and Bohsia and now, the latest KL Drift 2 in such a way that I heard plenty of people are eulogizing him for his powerful acting. W-O-W, I'm amazed. He's kinda versatile.

Speaking of which, I've yet to watch KL Drift 2 in the cinema which already debut on the 25th this month. I really wanna watch badly and I know I ain't gonna have a speck of regret since it's really a cool movie, but it's not that I'm penniless, it's just that I wanna save up for something. It's okay. Maybe I'm just going to buy its CD once it's out so that I can watch it everyday without getting bored and it's more worth it than watching in the cinema Also, I chanced upon in Syamsul's Twitter and he said Evolusi KL Drift 2's collection has now come up roughly 3 Million RM just for 5 days. OMG. THE MOVIE MUST BE REALLY A FUCKING BLAST THANG, HUH.

Anywayyyy. Can I say this once more? I really really can't wait for Orientation on the 13th, 15th and 16th of April!! WOOHOO! Oh yes, I've received the letter from TP the other day saying that I need to report to Temasek Engineering School on the first day which is on the 13th, at 8.30am. And then I've to bring approximately 85 bucks to school for 3-days lunch, worksheets, toolkit(for project), etc. As soon as I knew about the orientation in less than 2 weeks, I'm kinda nervous and worried because I don't frigging know anyone there. I'm sure everyone else feels as nervous as me, right? But nevertheless, my heart jumped for joy because I still can't believe for the fact that I'm going to polyyyyyyyyyyy! Like omg, is it a DREAMMMM? Heheh! I was slapping real hard in my face to make sure it's real, and it was. I'm. Going. To. Poly. That fact is still buzzing in my head and is one of the happiest moments in my life, I solely swear. It's like I've made my proudest achievement towards my family so far that it brings good name in my family. Only God knows how I've tasted this kind of sense of satisfaction with sweetness. It still makes me beam broadly. And this smile is worthwhile for every seconds because I know I deserve it. :)

And it's already 6 months of no-school enjoyment, and slacking until sometimes I could actually decompose from boredom at home, so I really have had enough of taking a break. More than enough, you can say.

And Polytechnic is where I'm going to begin a new chapter in my life. I hope my future classmates/coursemates are gonna be really interesting, sporting, spiritual, exhilarating and any other appropriate words that you can think of that are as the same terms with them. I'm gonna make the past a history. I seriously hope this time round, history doesn't repeat twice. I pray to God so as to make me lead a very good and blissful life by my friends' side in the school later on.

This is where my future will begin. To a whole brand new world. And Insyallah, may my prayers be answered.

481st post

2010-03-27T23:58:00.000-07:00

You thought I ain't gonna fight back. You got the wrong person dude. I'm no longer as what you think I am. I'm no longer who I used to be. Only then do I begin to feel the sense of satisfaction after what I've done back to you yesterday. REVENGE IS SO SWEET, huh. Until now, I'm still feeling satisfied over the 'wonderful' incident. Amcm?! Sakit hati pa boy?? YOU GOT THE TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE. If you've the intention to break my heart again tonight, then LET'S PLAY THE GAME. I'm fine with it because I'm gonna hurt you even more. I'm not going to be patient anymore because I've had enough of your fucking attitude. You know that my style of way is if you're nice to me, I'll do the same towards you. But if you give me unendurable attitude of yours, I'll give you bottomless pit of misery. I'll give you HELL.

And no, don't get me wrong people. I'm not referring to him. Him, I mean not that him whom I always brood over. Not my ~~first love~~. That him is someone from my past, who tries to break my heart again and again as many times as he wishes to, who doesn't want to make me live peacefully, and makes me live in misery instead, who's really great at sweet talking. Who's just capable at doing anything. A FUCKING IMBECILE JERK.

Jantan, dulu kaw bole uh pijak kepale aku sbb aku byk bersabar ngn perangai kaw. Tpi skg, no way man. Aku da tk mcm dulu uh. Because thanks to the past and experience I gained, it makes me for who I become. I've become more stronger. I'm opposed to who I was. So what you wanna plan to do next fucker? Don't worry, I'm already prepared NBCB. _|_ I won't ever forgive you because seriously perangai kaw mcm haiwan nombor one class one, setannn!!!

480th post

2010-03-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

And I would like to thank them for talking about him all of a sudden. Thanks a lot you people. Because now it makes me feel fucking hurt and miss him even more.

479th post

2010-03-23T20:31:00.000-07:00

"Sekelumit cinta sekurun kerinduan
Ku rempuhi ranjau duka
Membara sehangat api
Terhapus sepi di hati ku"
- Qiara

What the fuck is wrong with Youtube? I went to not only my blog, but literally everyone's and it seems that we all have the same problem. We can't listen to songs in Youtube in our blog because an error occurred. :( Ugh. Fuck. Pffft! Okay whatever, probably it's under maintenace or what. Hopefully it'll go back to normal once again soon. :/

Well anyway, I'm still learning the chords of the guitar of the song title "Mimpi Indah"., taught by Fadli. Hahah! Since that song is so simple to learn, which only requires 3 or 4 chords, I think. And yes, I got to admit that in the past, I don't really like those acoustic recent Malay songs, but ever since I got influenced by Nina, Katek and Fadli, (like really really, they influence me A LOT you know! Hahah) then I slowly got interested. But not all of their songs. Am only obsessed with 1 song in particular, which is Mimpi Indah. Because to me, the other songs are not that nice in comparison to "Mimpi Indah" . To me, that song is the best by Baron Bros so far. :)

So right now, I'm still struggling how to do the chords properly and strum the string. I didn't know that me, still as a newbie, who just starts to learn to play the guitar is gonna be THIS difficult. But I remembered Fadli say this to me, "as a beginner, it's always like that but if you keep practising and practising everyday which may take a few weeks, I'm sure you'll do it well." Yup, ain't gonna give up. Even if it may take a long time to finally play guitar very well. Because perseverance is the key to success. -wink-

478th post

2010-03-20T23:50:00.000-07:00

Apparently there's a reason why I'm doing THAT. Sigh. Whatever I do, you're still making me feel miserable.

Bedok Northians came to my house in the afternoon for CIP and they encouraged us to buy tickets for their whatever-carnival-shit-games in Eunos CC and like as if I cared because although Mom already paid for 2 tickets as she's really kind-hearted out of the blue to fork out 10 bucks for them, but no matter what, I still refuse to go. I ain't gonna attend on BNSS's behalf because I don't friggin' miss my fucking school at all. I just miss my ex-schoolmates and few teachers.

And then, I saw my form teacher, Ms Sunarti near my house! Omg such a coincidence having to bump into her. That was the only time for me to catch up with her after so long and asked her how she had been doing. Told her about the poly and course that I'm posted to, and she felt happy and proud for me. Aww. (: Just talked to her for a short while since she needed to go to other blocks. I wished I could have talked to her even more longer. ): And apart from missing her, I miss other teachers too. Not to forget, Ms Ilyana, my counselor. She was the one who never ceased to help me when I used to have family problems during my crucial year. She was the listening ear, she gave me great advices, and motivational useful tips for my studies. I really appreciate her. I need to meet up with her. I can never forget her deeds. Thank you Ms Ilyana. <3

Insyallah, soon one day, I'll head to my former secondary school maybe along with my friends just to meet some deserving teachers that I'm gonna meet. Because I want to thank them for their guidance and everything that they did as they are part of the reason why I attained good results.

♥

477th post

2010-03-19T15:16:00.000-07:00

"Losing your first real love,
it's like waking up from an overdose
and realising that you're still alive.
And each night I put my head to the pillow,
I try to tell myself I'm strong because
I've gone one more day without you."

-poeticheartache.tumblr.com

476th post

2010-03-17T23:52:00.000-07:00

Something tragic happened last night to an extent that Mom collapsed all of a sudden. Maybe she couldn't take the pressure of some problems that're going on among my relatives(whom I mentioned they're staying in my house for 6 months because they rent their apartment as they're hard up) Well, it's not that they're being a burden to us, but sigh, let's just say this is something that we've to go through. To be exact, hardships yeah?

So as soon as I saw Mom collapse yesterday, it was a great blow for me for the moment. In fact, not just once did I witness her faint, but countless of times before. As a result of that, each and everytime she collapsed, in the midst of me weeping, this kinda trauma would overwhelm me because I can't bear to lose her. Tell me, which child would bear losing her mother? Everyone loves their mother. Well, Mom suffers from high blood pressure but it's been several months she hadn't been taking medicines in pharmacy. And so today I kept advising her to consult the doctor in the clinic because I'm extremely concerned about her health. I really do not want her health to be deteriorated. I'm just most worried for her safety. Sigh. But instead of Mom being worried about her own health as well, she can be such hard-headed at times that she wants the appointment to be postponed to tomorrow. That is if she's able to keep her words because she's the sort who always postpone things to other day and the following day and next following day and then she'll give tons of excuses why she's not able to go. This and that. Sigh, I don't know why. She doesn't take her health seriously.

But well, I really really hope she'll finally head to the clinic tomorrow. I do not want anything to befall her. How I realise that I totally love and treasure my mother so much. I appreciate having her. As how the quote goes, "treasure your loved ones while they are still around. And never take it for granted, or else you'll regret for sure." I certainly agree with this.

And besides that, at this very moment, the only person I miss is none other than my beloved cousin.

Dear cousin,

I miss spending quality time with you.I miss being your listening ear.I miss you entertaining me with your hilarious jokes.I miss your super versatility.I miss confiding you in almost anything because besides my parents, you're the only one who can understand me the most as you're more experienced and open to situations like what I'm going through.I miss almost everything about you dude. :'(

Since momentarily time and circumstances don't allow us to visit you there, the only way I can get close to you and communicate with you is by writing you letters. Nevertheless, it's been a month that I've yet to receive your letter. I'm still waiting patiently for it to be delivered. (: There's nothing else I can say, except that you're really special to me. You're completely .. Flawless. mentally. You really are. You've made me extremely more mature in way of thinking. You've made really great deep impact in my life so far. Thank you so much for that bro. God willing, I'll come and visit you one fine day because I've been incessantly missing you. Love you bro.

475th post

2010-03-15T22:04:00.000-07:00

Tiap malam pabila aku, seorang insan yang terluka mendengar lagu yang membuatku menangkap syahdu dengan tidak sengaja, raut wajahmu akan sentiasa menjelma di minda fikiranku. Dan juga aku harus tempuhi semua dugaan yang aku lalui tika dan saat ini. Ujian dari Yang Maha Esa.

In addition, I've learnt to be way extra more patient in whatever circumstances. Even if it means someone's testing my patience, hurl insults at me, scold me, finds fault with me for inexplicable reasons, or just whatever they say or do that infuriates the freaking bloody hell out of me to an extent that my heart can almost explode, that I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs since I just can't take it due to too much anger that has reached its beyond boiling point, but in the end, I manage to be completely patient no matter what befalls me. Though it's fucking intolerable. Because I believe that patience is a virtue. And because silence is better, or to be more appropriate, more eloquent than words. I don't see a point in responding back and going against them since sometimes words that we utter just offend and annoy them. It just aggravates the situation further and rub salt into wound. So.. being silent and not to speak at all is rather better, isn't it? Depending on the situation, apparently. Well not only that, experience, especially the execrable ones, that I encountered has also taught me to gain my maturity and makes me stronger to go through the hard times. Instead of grumbling, complaining and wondering why I have such fucked-up moments of life, I'm blessed to God because without all of those, I wouldn't have been a stronger person.

And this is what I call, my LIFE.

474th post

2010-03-13T08:20:00.000-08:00

This video makes me cheer up a lil, since Faizal cutestuff and Syarif are the duo singers. :) And though Faizal sucks at acting, I've to admit he's frigging CUTEEEEEEEE! Omg. I totally love watching not only the drama, but also the Cinta Ixora theme song to an extent that it's been stuck in my head for days. Like the soundtrack in my mind that it keeps playing over and over again. I still remembered that in the past the song Impianku was always stuck in my head and now, the song title "Di Antara Cinta Dan Ego." . I'm amazed because I'm always addicted to songs composed by Sleeq. They're really great RnB composers. -claps-

473rd post

2010-03-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

"Ku ulangi pertemuan, walau hanya ku mendakap sisa cinta bersama rindu yang terdampar. Saat ini aku sendiri menangisi pemergianmu kekasih dan cuba memujuk rindu. Yang pedih tercalar di sudut ingatanku. Airmataku kau renang bahagia."

I won't be using laptop that much momentarily, for certain reasons. In addition, I'm unusually moody and have moodswings nowadays. And, grief-stricken. You know.. I wish I'd rather have broken arms than broken heart because human beings, specifically doctors can cure broken arms. But broken heart? No, not even a soul. Not even anyone. Not even doctors because they can't heal anyone's heart. Even if there's someone, or your friends who'll be able to lessen your pain and get off it in your chest, but it can only go away for the time being. Eventually, it will come back to you and rip off your vulnerable heart once again. Thus, the scar would never disappear. It remains there in your heart for as long as it wants. And it ~~hurts~~, yeah? Knowing that there's nothing you can do about it anymore. I suppose by the way I feel my heart beating, it's bleeding now, endlessly. Accompanied with agony.

Apparently things tend to change in a blink of an eye. Each and everytime I go to places that were once concerned me and my loved one and places that once made me happy, this kind of extreme sadness overwhelms my heart. And then a tear would shed and then, another tear, followed by another until tears that I assumed could contain a humongous big bucket started lingering down my cheeks. It's a sad thing that I can't bring back those fond memories once again. Fucking sad. But I've accepted the fact in such a way that sometimes I've to lose my loved one(because apparently we're no longer meant to be) and gain another(in which someone better will come along). And no matter how hard I attempt to make us together and set things right between us, I guess it's pointless. I repeat, pointless. Because that person no longer appreciates us. It hurts, yeah?

Well okay, when the time is right, when I'm already perfectly fine emotionally, I shall update more often and reguarly. I'm not okay. I swear I'm not. To accumulate with some problems going around in my house. Totally pissed off. But sigh, no matter what happens, I got to be strong yes? And I know I am. Otherwise if I'm not, I would have committed suicide and been dead by now.

Whatever.

472nd post

2010-03-08T20:23:00.000-08:00

"Setiap malam wajahmu terbayang
Disaksikan sinaran bulan"
- Lovehunters

"Mengapakah sukar meyakinkan cinta
Yang terbiar layu disiram di duka
Sedangkan diriku umpama pengemis
Mengharap kasihmu itu
Izinkanlah aku menyintaimu
Dan sesungguhnya cintaku satu"
- Mamat

"Entah mengapakah hatiku bergetaran

Bila bertemu lagi oh, kekasih lama

Ku cuba selindungkan api keresahan

Namun perasaan ini berapi di dalam

Ku kira engkau sudah melupakan

Kerna itulah engkau nampak tenang

Lainlah aku walau ketika ini

Masih membara ingatanku terhadapmu"

- Aris Ariwatan

"Sejenak aku dikejutkan

Bersama ombak cinta luka

Perpisahan yang melanda kita

Hanya kerna peristiwa itu

Akan kusimpan kenangan cinta kita

Yang tak akan terpadam selamanya

Kehangatan cintamu masih aku terasa

Seperti baru semalam kita berpisah

Tangisan sedu di hatiku

Menahan kepedihan ini

Sendiri aku mengenangkanmu

Hanya engkau yang aku sayangi"

- Gersang

"Karam aku di lautan duka

Bila wajahmu hilang di mata
Tiada berita pengubat rindu
Di kala sendu

Kubiarkan luka di hati berdarah
Sehingga kering dimamah mentari
Apakah salahku
Disakiti sebegini

Perlukah aku terus mengharapkan
Camar yang hilang kembali ke sarang
Apakah masih ada kerinduan
Yang tersimpan di hatimu sayang..."
-Zabarjad

And Rock Kapak never dies..

471st post

2010-03-07T02:53:00.000-08:00

You know, weight has always been an issue for me. :( I was kinda shocked when I found out that I've gained 4kgs back. Ugh, you'll NEVER or MAY NOT know how frustrating I can be! I'd been working and trying so hard to lose my weight to an extent that I had managed to lose 4kg, but now, my hardwork in losing 8 pounds has gone to waste. -snaps- Just like that. Bloody h-e-l-l, I know. _|_ And how I totally envy skinny and pretty people very much that I wish I can be like them. Like no matter how much they eat, how many burgers or fast food or most unhealthy food or whatever they devour every day, they still won't get ~~fat~~. Can you imagine how envious I am? Can you? :( I wish I'd have fallen into that category. Sigh. I mean, I'm the sort who although I just eat a bit, I EASILY(please emphasize on this word) tend to somehow gain a pound or two. Isn't that frustrating? :'( And besides that, whenever I see delicious food, it always tempts me till I drool and then it's as if there's this devil possess me and whisper, "Oh come on, fifa. Just don't give a damn about your weight. Eat as much as you want! What matters is that stomach of yours is fully satisfied. Go and eat! Eat! Eat! Or else you'll regret for the rest of your lifeeee.." You know that kinda situation? Yeah.

And heck, losing weight in a tremendous amount in few weeks or months is really as goddamn hard as how a primary 6 kid who's trying to solve secondary school problem sums, but if you assume gaining weight in a tremendous amount in a short period of time is as easy as ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP, then bingo, you're right. Okay, whatever. I seriously need to stop moaning about my freaking weight and should find certain ways to lose weight(target 10 pounds) before school starts in a month's time! But of course, I'm not gonna starve myself to death but to cut down on my food intake, and the most important thing is to exercise. That is, if I'm not a lazybum to get my butt out and exercise. -______-"

Whatever it is, I hope I'll manage to lose some kilograms and look good later when school opens. Insyallah.

And by the way, "My Name Is Khan" still leaves a huge impact on me since. Sigh. One of the most saddening stories I've ever seen. )':

470th post

2010-03-06T01:51:00.000-08:00

Met up with Nina yesterday. :D The first thing that we did was to watch "My Name Is Khan" at TM.

And I swear the movie is super damn tear-jerker. )': Yes we cried because as soon as particular tragedy strikes, certain scenes just unintentionally made Nina and I cry. :'( I think literally everyone in that theatre cried too, because damn it, it's really touching. And apart from crying, there's plenty of humor too, especially from Shah Rukh Khan mostly. Hahahah! Man, still have the nerves to make us laugh! Okay, he's really a great actor and performs veryvery extremely well in all of the scenes. -2 thumbs up- And he had to act like some retarded guy who suffers from "Asperger's Syndrome". I tell you, hilarious to the max! Hahahah. But yet, kinda pitiful at times. And like as if mixtures of feelings arise upon watching the movie. Anger, sadness, pity and humor are jumbled up. But to top it off all, it's indeed touching. It has touched our hearts deeply. Yeaa. It's not some typical hindi movies. It's something about racial and religious issues and it's got something to do with USA, Al-qaeda, 9/11 september attacks. Really great story line. Well okay, I don't wish to elaborate further because I don't wanna ruin a suspense for those who haven't watched it yet.

But let me tell you again. IT'S WORTH WATCHING OKAY. And in the end it's worth the popcorn, tickets and the tears we shed. )': Go watch okay people! I assure you that you won't feel even a speck of regret watching it, because it'll make you teary-eyed. Really really. Go. And. Watch.

Speaking of which, I wanna watch My Name Is Khan again. I'm sooooo going to buy the cd as soon as it's released. It's a must, for sure.

Um then, head to Bugis. Bought 3 tops and a wallet. :) Then proceeded to Far East. And guess who we saw there? We saw .. TAUFIK BATISAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Arghhhh! OMG. But sadly, we didn't manage to take pictures with him because it seemed like he had to hurry or something, so those people who were queueing just to take picture with him were not able to, including us. Sigh. :( But it's okay, though we missed an opportunity and felt regretful, but at least, we get to meet him in real life, finally! :D :D

After having our supper(and the fried rice at that shop which Nina recommended me is totally awesome!) and taking pictures, we went home at 10+. I guess we had lots of fun today. Always enjoyed going out with Nina. :) Next : We're gonna meet Apit in Yishun. HAHAHAH just kidding.

Okay I wanna get some Z's. Nights!

469th post

2010-03-03T07:34:00.001-08:00

I'm in a fucking horrible bad mood. Don't fucking ask.

Maybe I still need some time to heal emotionally.

467th post

2010-03-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

To-do list tomorrow.

Go to SATA clinic to collect my medical forms and X-ray report.
Go to Mendaki to enquiry for more for financial assistance scheme.
Help Mom by distributing flyers through home-to-home basis and at least, I'll get some buckssss! $$$ And to add up 50 bucks that I received from aunt the other day, which gonna total up to 100+, I guess I can go on a shopping spree soon. WOOHOOOO!

Anyway, the weather's been EXTREMELY humid nowadays. Oh my god. And I've been having this unusual thirst nowadays, like as if gazillion cups of plain water are not able to quench my thirst, still. :/ And I hope I won't have sore throat because I feel that I'm going to have it. I guess before it can actually befall me, I should drink lots and lots and lots of plain water huh.

Now, Me, Fadil and Fadli (triple F's) are discussing on what movie to watch on Youtube later. We've watched Senario Beach Boys(the latest one) yesteday and hell yeah, it's so freaking hilarious and funny to the max! HAHAHAH. Makes me burst into hysterical laughter man! And it's much much better in terms of plots as compared to Senario The movie ; Episode Part 1. You guys should watch it okay! :D

I've to go now. Bye!

466th post

2010-02-28T21:52:00.000-08:00

I swear I'm so dead beat right now. In the noon, went to Yishun by lorry(I always like sitting at the back of the lorry with the wind whooshing my hair) since we ought to help Katek and family clean their house for the last time. And also, brought plenty of heavy bags to our house as they have officially moved in here and will be staying here for about 6 months. Then, arranged lots of their stuffs in my house, and besides that, it was ALSO a tiring job having to take care of my lil sis 24/7. Gosh, that explains why I'm just so fatigue at the moment.

After that, Fadil katek, Fadli and me, Fifa (the 3 F's) went to eat out by heading to Rasa-rasa Thai Seafood restaurant near to my house at block 138(if I'm not wrong). While eating, I bumped into Fza, my ex-schoolmate there. OMGGG. I miss my schoolmates a lot. ): Then we headed home at 6+ pm. And now I'm still having lots of fun and laughter with Katek and Fadli. Though we were all tired by doing too much work and going to and fro, we spent a great enjoyable time with one another.

Later we the trios will be watching Senario Beach Boys in Youtube and now, Fadli's ordering Canadian pizza for us! Teriyaki Chicken and Hawaiian Classic. Yumyum! Such a kind dude for treating us pizzaaaaaas. Thank you. ;)

Okay bye, update again tomorrow. If not, the day after tomorrow. Or if not, the day after the day after tomorrow okay. See you.

465th post

2010-02-27T03:58:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows Shah Rukh Khan, my all-time favourite Bollywood actor. :) :)

Watched Om Shanti Om, for the third freaking time at Vasantham just now. Seriously, I'm not getting bored of watching it even for umpteenth times. No, not even the teeny weeny bit of it. Because that movie's so uber sweet and touching. I wanna buy the CD if possible. Heh. By the way, I've been wanting to watch "My Name Is Khan" in the cinemaaaa! UGH! Looking forward to watching it with Nina and Rinah. Omg girls, when are we gonna meet up? I hope as soon as possible aye. :) Because I can't wait to watch that movie and eye-candy and drool on this gorgeous Hindi dude above. HAHAH.

Okay so, I'm watching Titanic right now, and later there'll be 'Cinta Ixora' which debuts tonight at 9.30pm. Faizal Isa is one of the actors. It makes me feel kinda astonished as soon as I found out he began to act. Like woa? From the contestant of Singapore Idol who instantly managed to go into acting industry in Suria. Hmm. Btw jgn kekok suda. Hahah.

Have to wake up early tomorrow morning since we have to go to Katek's house in Yishun by lorry as they're starting to move in here tomorrow. :)

Okay, wanna watch Titanic! Take care.

464th post

2010-02-26T22:08:00.000-08:00

I've been going out lately. And guess what, I'm so freaking lazy to update my blog momentarily. Yeah, I'm just plain indolent.

Anyway, few days ago, I've received the enrolment package. I'm already done with printing out forms, medical check up. Just left with taking photographs, photocopying IC, results slips, birth cert and etc, GIRO form and going to Mendaki to apply for financial assistance schemes. Well, I'm still feeling glad, thankful and breathe a huge sigh of relief that I managed to go to TP. It's like one of the happiest moments in my life. Really. As I pondered over the days when I had to mug and mug like hell for O's that I had to sacrifice my laptop by not using it for 3-4 months, and eventually my hardwork had actually paid off. :)

I just can't wait to start school on April! Can't wait for orientation camps which are held on 5th or 6th april if I'm not mistaken. I can't remember the dates. Can't wait to make newwwww friends! Can't wait to study the course that I'm posted to. Can't wait to explore the whole TP and make full use of it. I CAN'T WAITTTTT! :D

Hee. Okay, till here. I'll update again when I feel like it. Bye!

'Always' has been my "lullaby" song every night. For the 49274729038965th times I'm saying this, I'm missing you. A lot. I'll never cease missing you cuz..

463rd post

2010-02-23T21:19:00.000-08:00

Anyway, as I've promised that one of these days, once USB has been bought, I'll upload this particular picture and show it in my blog. So jeng jeng jeng..

Me with didicazli!

HAHAHAH! Do ignore my face please. I looked so freaking ugly and my expression was like wth in this picture because as we were taking pic, I didn't bother how my appearance was. The moment I saw him unloading stuffs in the trunk of his car, I immediately ran and chased him(which explains why my hair got all messed up) across the far distance no matter what since I really didn't want to miss my second opportunity after feeling regretful for not being able to take picture with him earlier on as a result of being too shy. Remember that I mentioned all of these in my previous post? Hahahah! So at last, I got to see him for the second time on the same day and the same place that I believed it was jodoh(wtf fifa. wtf. hahahah). Whatever it is, although how ugly I looked, or just whatever it is, at least, I got to take pic with Didi. Like c'mon, Didicazli the popular local malay male artist. That matters the most. :D :D And among all of the songs that he composed, I love 'Dambaan' the best. :)

Okay, let's hope that I'll bump into Faizal or Taufik the next time round. :) :) :) :)

Last 2 nights, slept over and overnight - or what the Malays call, 'ton' - at Katek's house for a night because like what I've mentioned, we had to help them to clean their house. So the first thing I helped was to place plates, bowls, cups and other household kitchen wares into the cardboard boxes. Then, took a break and watched MI 3 and thank God there were Malay subtitles unlike MI 2, otherwise I'd have been so bloody frustrated. So next : arranged all of the cds and put them in the box as well. After which, helped Fadil Katek out in his room. As a matter of fact, in the midst of clearing up unneccessary stuffs and sorting out the albums and whatsoever important stuffs, we had lots of laughter as usual. And then, I chanced upon this love diary that he wrote for I-don't-know-which-girl. And Mom was there too. Apparently he wouldn't let us read his diary because it was personal. But in a few minutes' time when Katek was not our sight and that diary which he placed on the closet, Mom and I went to read it without letting him know. Hahah seriously kekek to the maximum! And there's this sentence that he wrote made us burst into laughter - "Walaupun org ckp mata kau mcm bisball, aku ttp sayangkan kaw' Bisball? HAHAHAHAHHAHHAH! Jiwang kental uh lu katek. Spelling pn style pe. HAHAHHAHAH! I was laughing my ass off! Like really really. But sorry shawty, we invade your privacy. :P

Well, I can't wait for them to move in here this Sunday. :) At least, I've a great and fun company to hang out with and talk to, none other than KATEK. :D Though at times I find you beyond irritating. -rolls eyes-

462nd post

2010-02-21T03:20:00.000-08:00

Katek and his mom had just reached my crib since they're going to sleep here, and tomorrow we'll be going together to Katek's crib later early in the morning and sleep over there for a night as well. We've to help them clean their house and do other stuffs that we are supposed to. That's because Katek and his family will be starting to move in and stay here next week. Which is exactly a week left. And until August I guess? Apparently it'll even be more crowded. But like I said, may the more the merrier and livelier huh. Hope so. :)

Hm, okay bye. I'm dead beat now. I want to turn in. Nights readers. Time for me to hover an orange button that says 'Publish Post'.

461st post

2010-02-20T16:30:00.000-08:00

Mission Impossible 2 and 3 tonight and tomorrow respectively! I'm so not going to miss watching it, since Tom Cruise, my lurp, is the main actor. Heee! :D :D Omg, you're such a hotstuff dude. -blink blink-

460th post

2010-02-19T23:55:00.000-08:00

Well, nothing interesting happened today. What do you expect from a person who sits at home and has to take care of her sibling and do household chores, specifically daily routine? I'm living in a mundane life, currently. Mhmm. By the way, 400+ more pages to the end of re-reading Breaking Dawn and then I'll consider buying 'Vampire Diaries' novel in Popular bookstore or borrowing it in the library. It's kinda weird as I'm sooo obsessed in vampire world and stuffs. Heh!

Anyway, anger automatically flinched upon me when I heard about this incident which made me damn fucked up. And no, you don't even know how infuriated and fucked up I was because there was this freaking OLD lady whom we're not even close to had backstabbed and badmouth me a whole bunch of shit. LIKE WTF?!?! NK JAGE TEPI KAIN ORG, TAPI KAIN SENDIRI KOYAK RABAK. G JAHIT KAIN SENDIRI DULU SBLM KUTUK2 ORG!!!! JGN CKP KAIN, MULUT PN KENE JAHIT JGK UH SBB TKDE INSURANCE! Pfffft! Not only me, but Mom is involved as well, and apparently we're so completely burning in rage until now. Ugh! Just what issues does she have with us? Seriously that old lady herself doesn't get any better. Even more worse. Well, enough of it. No matter how much she wanted to say about me and my family behind my back, I guess I've to be patient and calm no matter what because I don't wish to accumulate my sins towards this old granny since obviously, she's already freaking OLD. So yeah, let it be. And I told this everything to Nina, the only friend who knows the full story. Not only that, there're other stuffs that I told her too to get off my chest too which made me feel much better eventually. Because I feel that she understands me the most, for the time being. Seriously thank you Nina for understanding and being there for me. :) I appreciate it.

This video, my all-time favourite song. Don't wish to elaborate further. Because certain things are better left unsaid. I just want to say that the lyrics perfectly describes how I express these feelings towards this particular person for the moment.

Tak dapat nakku gambarkan sayang
Betapa kuatnya cintaku ini
Hanya tuhan saja yang tahu niatku yang suci
Ingin terus hidup bahagia denganmu
Dari hari ke hari kurasa
Kasih sayang kusemakin dalam
Tak pernah kubenci padamu
Walaupun hatiku pernah dilukai

Jangan kau pergi meninggalkanku
Tak sanggupku berpisahmu
Bagaimana nanti bila aku rindu
Dimana tempat nakku bermanja

Demi tuhanku sayang padamu
Airmata menjadi saksinya
Bagaimana lagi hendakku buktikan
Kesetiaannya cintaku ini
Apakah lagi yang kau mahu
Tak cukupkah pengorbananku
Semoga kau mengerti perasaanku
Betapa ikhlasnya cintaku

Bila hatiku sudah sayang
Bukan mudah nakku lupakan
Biarpun pedih dugaan
Relaku hadapi sayang
Cinta lahir dari lubuk hati
Bukan sengaja di paksa - paksa
Sekali bilaku jatuh cinta oh... selamanya
aku ingin bersamamu ( sayang )

459th post

2010-02-18T18:37:00.000-08:00

I seriously can't wait for POLY school life! Wooohooooooo!

Yeah, I did mention in my blog that I managed to go to TP. But have I mentioned about me getting 'Media and Communication Technology' as my course? No? Okay, so now you know. Didn't get any of the business courses unfortunately, which is a sad thing. Sigh. But it's okay, I like Media as well. Maybe there's a wisdom for everything that happens and maybe God knows what's best for me. I hope I'll be a successful person few years down the road and have a bright future ahead. Insyallah. Not only me, but for my ex-schoolmates and for those who're taking different courses respectively as well, I wish you all good luck okay! (:

Oh please, I hope my poly school life will be much much better and interesting than secondary school's. Can I say this again? I can hardly wait to study in POLYYYYYYY! Hahahah :D

On another note, my irritating cousin, Katek and his family will be staying at my house next week until God-knows-how-many-months(but I know it'll be a long period of time) since they're renting their house as they're hard up and are facing a lot of financial difficulties. What's with having to settle the hospital bills, electricity bill, and having no expenditures. That explains why they've to rent the house for the time being. Sympathizing with the situation they land in now, Mom let them stay at our house for the time being.

And starting from next week, there'll be 9 people in this house with an exception of the tenant. May the more the merrier and harmonious we can get, and not to cause dissatisfactions and whatsoever troubles. To begin with lil sis' who's too pampered and her ultra demands, then to accumulate with one of my uncles who always demands unnecessarily as well, and with him not being able to work because his brain has already gone haywired, so he has to depend on my parents for his expenditures every single day. Then when Katek and his family will be moving in a week time, to accumulate with my aunt's voice who often shouts like tarzan; her daily habit, and who's always at loggerheads with his husband. So when everything all adds up, won't you feel the tension and stress? I bet the house would have exploded due to too much sounds in unison. Okay, exaggerating.

But I guess I've to think optimistically and don't think in that way, since I remembered Dad and I had to stay at their house before, for 3 months. For the same reason too, financial problem. So now that they're in difficulty, we should help them back since they're in need. Well, though to top it all of that, I really really really hope all of us will be living in harmony and everything will go smoothly and calmly.

And like how the Bujangs Lapok say, "Cobaan."

458th post

2010-02-17T15:09:00.000-08:00

Afternoon peeps! Stretching my hands, indeed I had a good peaceful sleep knowing that I didn't have sufficient sleep yesterday.

Since a day ago we went to Cash Studio to karaokeeeee again! But this time, not with my female cousin and her family, but with my uncles instead. Hahah. My uncles were really entertainers to an extent that one of them sang P.Ramlee songs - Engkau Laksana Bulan and Nasi Goreng. Nasi Goreng? Hahahah! All along, of course we always had so much fun and hysterical laughters arised within us, especially ME who seemed to be the loudest to laugh constantly. I was too hyper. We did take videos, but not that as much as the one we took for the last time's session. And furthermore I was freaking indolent to upload them, as it's taking forever to upload just a video in this blog. Pathetic.

Went home at night and watched Chinese movies at Preview Channel till 3-4am and Stephen Chow happened to be the actor in one of those movies. My all-time favourite comedian who always made me laugh my freaking ass off whenever he acts in any film. Woke up today at 12 noon and had Mee Siam Goreng for my lunch. Seriously, boredom overwhelms me right now. Boredom, I mean EXCESSIVE boredom. Ugh. I've been playing Facebook games - Cafe World, Vampire Wars and also, Fishville(hahah wtf) to prevent from decomposing from boredom. Not to forget, I've been reading Breaking Dawn again. And to all of the Jacob Black's huuuge fans, I'm sorry, because I just prefer Edward Cullen way a thousand times more than Jacob. I do like Jacob as well but not as how much I'm totally obsessed with Edward. Maybe because his characters and how much he sacrifices a whole lot for Bella which is beyond sweet makes me in love with him, a fictional character. And thanks to him, he makes us, girls, have unrealistic expectations in guys. -___- Edward Cullen.. who never even exists. The author Stephenie Meyer is being such a well-written author who makes up love stories about vampire, human and werewolf. I admit, I'm so into these stuffs though I know it's just a fantasy. Hah.

Speaking of which, I can't wait to watch Eclipse movie! :))

While I'm blogging at this very moment, I'm now taking care of my lil sis. It's really an exhausting job to take care of her because as days go by, she's getting even more pampered and boisterous. Always get shouted at by us because we just can't put up with her intolerable behaviour at times. Pfft. But on other hand, it's such a joy being with her. Her funny acts and incessant cute laughter brings us joy. :) Nevertheless, I'm, waiting for Mom to wake up to help her cook and do necessary household chores which I always do. So that I'll get another 50 bucks from her soon for being a hardworking daughter. HAHAHA. What an exemplary maiden, yet smart ass I am, huh? -coughs-

And thank you for reading this long and crappy post though you don't have to, anyway. Okay bye.

457th post

2010-02-16T03:36:00.000-08:00

I hope you'll visit me in my dreams, again.

456th post

2010-02-14T12:21:00.000-08:00

Met up with my bestfriend, Noni yesterday. :)

And as soon as I saw her face, it was as if I stumbled upon a treasure chest full of gold. You know that expression? Hahahah, I kid you not! :P Okay so, we FINALLY met since the last time that we met was a month and 2 days ago, which was on 11th Jan - the day when we took O's results. Since it's been an indefinite period of time that we haven't had such great conversations that're worth our precious time, we hanged out under the void deck near my house and started story telling about our lives and not to forget, our all-time favourite hobby - bitching and gossiping a lot of stuffs. Heh. Sadly, hanging out for 2 hours seemed like only 2 minutes. Okay, exaggerating much. But I do feel like as though time flew fast like a lightning whenever I'm with her. -__- Well, that's the definition of "best friends" and what they always do. Yakking and burbling all the way non-stop hits, huh? Hahah.

Now that we're going our separate ways, I'm so going to miss her a whole lot. And god, I'm already missing her now. :( I really miss her more than how I miss eating Swensen's so much. :( More than how I miss eating Cadbury/Kit Kat/Hershey/Ferrero Rocher and other of my favourite chocolates knowing that I'm on a no-chocolates diet now. Miss her MORE than that. :( In spite of the fact that we'll be studying in different school later, I know we can still make meetups some time to lessen our missing towards each other. And, I certainly hope that we'll maintain our strong friendship and won't lose contact because I appreciate having you. 3 years of our friendship and going on strong. You're the best and gerek-to-the-core sister I've known. Whatever you do, you'll always have my support and you know that. (:

Am looking forward to go on a shopping spree with you babe! :D

By the way, I would like to wish Happy Chinese New Year to all of the Chinese people out there. And also, Happy Valentine's Day to those who're celebrating it. :) Have fun with your loved ones.

Just because I keep quiet, doesn't mean I don't care. Because I totally do. Hope you'll be just fine.

455th post

2010-02-13T03:07:00.000-08:00

Spent the last few hours Tumblr-ing. In fact, so far about 70% of the pictures and quotes that I've read really relates to my life the most. It perfectly describes how I feel and therefore, I officially declare that Tumblr is my second "best friend" website in terms of expressing my feelings.

Anyway, it's 3 in the morning and I haven't turned in yet. It's not that I don't feel like sleeping at all. It's just that I can't manage myself to sleep that sometimes, it does irritate the fucking hell out of me though I admit I'm a pure nocturnal. Yes, I'm a nocturnal. But for some inexplicable reasons, nowadays I do want to sleep early and I have no frigging idea why. Just maybe for the time being, I guess. Probably because all of a sudden I dread being lonely seeing that all of my family members are sleeping soundly and I'm the only one who's wide awake and still, energized. Sigh. And the peaceful and extreme quiet surrounding kinda creeps me out and makes my hair stand on an end sometimes. :/

Didn't know that insomnia is a kind of torture, whenever I need to sleep at a particular timing. This is what happens when I've loooong transformed into "nocturnals" already to an extent that eventually it's so freaking hard to change my sleeping patterns. -___- Bravo fifa. -claps-

454th post

2010-02-11T23:27:00.000-08:00

Celebrated Mom's birthday yesterday by going to Karaokeeeeee! WOOHOOOOO! Went to Cash Studio in Bedok Inter with Mom, Dad, lil sis, Uncle, my cuz; Kak Yah and his husband, Abg Aidil. And we started Karaokeing at 9.30pm. Kite melalak sampai larut malam bebb!! Hahah. I had lots of fun and laughter with them. (: And so, we took lots of videoooos but I only uploaded the "best" few ones since it takes a freaking long time just by uploading a video in Blogger. Pfft!

Okay, so here's some of the videos.

Me singing 'Andainya Aku Bersuara'.

And there's this video whereby Kak Yah and Abg Aidil sang duet - Aku Cinta Aku Rindu. Sadly, I couldn't upload it. Seriously Abg Aidil's voice is exactly the same as Ajai's. Hahahahahha! And Kak Yah's voice - I don't know what to say. I wish I can own her voice. :(

Happy Birthday Mom! :)

And the best voice music award goes to.. KAK YAH!! Hahahah. Because seriously, her voice is uber great and powerful! Da samer tahap ngn Siti Nurhaliza. :D :D

Dad with Ratuku.

Uncle singing Meraung. HAHAHAHAH! MY GOD. Pecah perut siol ketawe! KEKEK ABES!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!

And I didn't manage to upload Mom singing's videos, since they were recorded on her phone as well, and there wasn't any of her video in this camera. So yeah.

Then, we headed home at 1am. Karaokeing session with my beloved family and my cousin's family was really enjoyable. And as a matter of fact, it's been such a long time that I haven't had such a great talk with my cuz, Kak Yah. (: We used to be extremely close before, but ever since she was married, we rarely meet and contact. Last night was the best time in such eons for us to get along and catch up with each other. :)

I'm waiting for Mom to give me 50 bucks on this Sunday, that is if she manages to close deal from her clients. Insyallah. I WANNA GO SHOPPINGGGG! ;)

453rd post

2010-02-10T02:38:00.000-08:00

HAPPY XXTH BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED MOM!! :)

Sincerely, I'd like to thank you for all of the incalculable sacrifices you've done towards me. The indescribable love and care that you've been giving me, is something that I could not ask for more. I'm truly beyond appreciative. As a matter of fact, you're the bestest mother whom I've ever come across and if it weren't for you Mom, I wouldn't have been where I am now. You're the reason for my existence. You've been taking care of me well and raise me up for 18 years. I'm thankful to Allah that you've completely turned over a new leaf and repented. Now you've been carrying out your duty and responsibility as a good mother and I guess only God knows how extremely thankful I am, at this very moment. I've a happy family once again and I'm blessed to have you, Dad, and lil sis, Iffah Arfah. I don't wanna lose my dearest family. A complete, inseparable family which I pray that it'll always stay this way - for ever.

The hardships that you've been going through has made me feel greatly appreciated of the things that you've done towards not only Dad and lil sis, but towards your grown-up daughter as well. And I'm aware that I'm kinda insolent and disrespectful towards you at times. Thus I hope you can forgive me for any wrongdoings and or my words, action, behaviour which has hurt you deeply or infuriated you. My deepest apology. I'm really sorry. Because I seriously don't mean what I did and said.

Once again, happy birthday Mom. I hope all of your wishes will be fulfilled. Semoga Mama panjang umur, murah rezeki dan semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas diri Mama. love you more than words can say. <3

And so, to celebrate Mom's birthday, we'll be going to Cash Studio to karaoke tonight to sing our hearts' out! Dad will be buying a birthday cake for Mom. WOOHOOOO, I CAN'T WAITTTTTT! :D

452nd post

2010-02-09T00:17:00.000-08:00

I hereby declare that I'm officially broke, again.

Mom's birthday is approaching tomorrow and I don't have any freaking idea what to buy for her, knowing that I'm really in a penniless state now. Sigh. Perhaps if I manage to ask 10-15 bucks from dad, I might buy Ferrero Rocher chocolates as a gift. Or birthday card. Well, it's the thought that counts anyway, right? I promise Mom, I'll buy branded stuffs for you next year. Hehhehe. Well, I'm such a "beggar" for now, (okay maybe that word seems inappropriate), maybe I'm just a very dependent person, in terms of finance. I'm still a student afterall. Despite the fact that school starts on april that I still have time to get my butt out to go and work to earn money, but the thing is, I'm forever indolent. A pure lazybum I am. Well that's just me. I suppose laziness is a habit and there's nothing I can do about it. Hah. So let me rot at #03-448 and decompose from boredom for as long as I want, okay.

And hopefully I'll be able to persuade Mom into going to cash studio karaoke tomorrow to celebrate her birthday. Instead of her plan of going to Resorts World Sentosa. Because I really have the urge to release my tension by holding the freaking microphone and sing my hearts' out!!!!!!! It's been eons okay!!! Been more than a year, I bet? AGHHHHHHHHH!

451st post

2010-02-08T23:43:00.000-08:00

Certainly.

450th post

2010-02-06T02:08:00.001-08:00

You've got no originality, girl. _|_ And it pisses me off, do you know that? Who wouldn't be so fucking infuriated when they found out people copied their original "work"? Like, are you lacking ideas or something? And you think I'm oblivious? No, I'm not. I'm smart enough to know what's going on. Ugh!

Sape mam cili, die yg terase pedas laa eh!!

449th post

2010-02-05T23:44:00.000-08:00

It feels good having to interact with each other, once again. It's been 8 freaking months that we haven't been contacting each other and then when you started to text me 2 days ago, it made me smile. Because I had always thought of you, kept wondering how you were that I hoped you'd start to talk to me again like before which thankfully, you did. Seems that you've never forgotten me too. I missed you girl. We've been boon online companion, in other words, close friends for 3 years and I can really never forget you babe. You're someone who always makes my days worthwhile. Someone who's rare, one in a million.

I, of course, cherish and treasure our friendship and the moments we spent. We give and take, you give me such wonderful advices, be my listening ear, share happiness and sorrows with each other without getting sick of it(not even teeny weeny bit of it), just everything. Everything that we do. And I appreciate it truckloads. I hope, this time, I'm able to put my ego aside and may our friendship will be able to last long. Insyallah. :)

Much love, your close friend, Fifa.

448th post

2010-02-04T06:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm like freaking happy now. I BUMPED INTO DIDICAZLI JUST NOW AT CGH, YOU FRIGGING HEAR THAT! Hahahahahhaha! And I swear I was so noisy. Sumpah kecoh siaa tdi! Hahah!

Okay so, here's how it went. Went to visit my aunt in CGH since it's already been a week not visiting her. While my female cousin, Kak Yah, and I were queuing up to get the visitors pass, Kak Yah whispered to me, "Effa tgk blkg effa. Yg baju merah tu. Didicazli sey." When I turned to my back, and yes, it was him. I shouted, "Ey didicazliiii!" but in a low tone in such a way that only my Kak Yah and the woman at the counter who serves us heard. Hahaha! Didn't you remember, the other day, when I bumped into Imran magician and Chef Bob, I wondered to myself, "Why didn't I bump into Taufik, or Didicazli, or Faizal instead? Sigh." And then, my wish came true upon bumping into Didicazli. Godddd! Hahah. :D Then whispered to my cuz, saying that, "Kak Yah, please tell him on my behalf that I want to take pictures with him. Please, please, please!" I swear I was like ayam berak kapur at that point of time. Haha! Without hesitation, I was searching for the phone in my bag and I didn't know why the bloody hell it took me a long time to just get my phone out of the bag that Didicazli had already passed by us. You know I'm sort of a shy person, and I didn't know my cuz was shy too that she didn't have the courage to approach him. Then he had walked quickly to lobby B lift and was already out of our sight. Gosh, missed an opportunity. Ugh, bummer!!

Since then, I kept feeling uneasy and had a sense of regret because I really wanted to talk to him and take pictures with him. I told to myself, "Tkpe laa. Mungkin kalo ade jodoh, kite jumpe lagi ke nanti." Really, really, I was hoping hard to bump into him again. And about an hour later, Mom could actually see, across the far distance, Didi seem to send his Mom home who supposingly was previously admitted to that hospital, and then he loaded bags in the trunk of his car. I swear it was him again! Ade jodoh uh sbb dpt jumpe lagi!! Hahahahaha! Ape lagi, tros aku kejar! This time tknk melepaskn peluang siaa! Hahahaha! I was running and shouting his name to an extent that people looked at me strangely. Humiliating much. -.-" I asked Didi, "Amek gmbr bole?" And he replied, "Bole bole." while smiling. His smile melts my heart. Aww. (: In fact, he never fails to stop smiling. He's a really friendly guy as he asked me who I was visiting there, etc. And he's freaking cute!! When we took pic, the gap between us was a lil far. Can't be blamed though, as he's a married man. -___- Then, I shook hands with him and he waved hand at me, smiled and said "Bye" and I did the same too. Am a big fan of him! Haha.

Unfortunately, the pic was on Mom's phone and neither of our phones have USB and damn, I can't upload the picture to my lappy. If only we used camera but end up, didn't bring it. Sigh. It's okay, I'll upload it some other time then. Gambar tu bole bawa, seribu kenaaaangan ~ Hahahaha!
Overall, freaking happy! :P:P

447th post

2010-02-02T02:39:00.000-08:00

Home sweet home. (:

As soon as family and I arrived at Singapore yesterday earlier in the afternoon at about 4pm, the first thing that I said in my heart, "Ugh. Omg, singapore. Frigging boring. -rolls eye-" And really, the moment we stepped into Singapore once again, it suddenly dampened my mood and it's like, we see the buildings and places all over again. It's like "nightmare" came haunting me once again. Well okay, not really. But it's like, I'M FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF LIVING IN THIS COUNTRY. Ughhh. Few years down the road, I hope I'll be able to migrate to Malaysia along with my parents. But on the other hand, I got to meet back my loved ones in Singapore. Aww missed them. (: So when we reached Bedok, Katek welcomed us home. Miss spending time with him too, the irritating lil faggot. Hah.

Okay so, without hesitation, let me blog about my 4 days and 3 nights in Malacca with my beloved family.

We departed from Singapore to Malacca last Thursday afternoon through bus express. And it took us roughly about 3-4 hours to reach there. Upon our arrival, the bus driver brought us to meet this Indian cab driver who was also known as tour guide drived us to this hotel, Malacca Straits Hotel since it was already night and we'd been searching for the hotel for us to check in.

Seriously, that hotel was freaking awesome! And the receptionist is a very friendly guy. To be frank, most of the Malaccans are very friendly people. And no, I'm not kidding you. They're not being kiasu like some singaporeans. Hah. So when we were done placing the luggages and bags in the hotel, the tour guide brought us to this eating place since we were freaking famished. We had seafood, and to our astonishment, it's really effing heavenly delicious and scrumptious! Portugese cooking, mind you! The taste was beyond mouthwatering to an extent that I wouldn't mind eating it everyday. Hahah. I swear, it cannot defeat Singapore's cooking and in fact, it's the best seafood I've had. REALLY REALLY! :)

Then the day after, which was Friday, we went to Muzium Samudera, or Maritime Museum, which displays a very humongous Portugese ship and inside the ship, there was a museum which displays exhibits, artifacts and documents.

And guess what, we managed to take pictures with Hang Tuah! The statue only. Hahahahahhaha. Okay, here's the pictures that we took in the museum.

Dad posing with Hang Tuah statue.

Mom with I-have-no-idea-what-his-name-is-called statue.

Uncle.

Taming Sari, the first and only gyro Tower in Malaysia.

After heading to the museum, we went shoppinggggggg! :)

My parents.

And as you can see, we went to "Dataran Pahlawan Melaka Megamall". I bought 2 tops. I was planning to buy more tops but seems that we had to hurry as time and circumstances didn't allow to.

Then on saturday, checked in A'famosa Resort Hotel. And the best part came! The most exciting and happening moments that we had in Malacca so far! We headed to A'famosa resort!!!!!! The first station that we went first was GO-KART. WOOOOO!

Dad and I took turns driving. In the first place, I was kinda terrified when Dad began to turn on the engines and drive, and furthermore, Go-Kart in Malacca isn't the same as the one in Escape since it was on the rock tracks. Despite all that, eventually, the fear faded away and being replaced with the feeling which was damn freaking great and amazing when Dad drove on the rock tracks and the go-kart was like bumpy all the way with unstable slopes. And it's like I was being put in F1 car. Okay, exaggerating much. Hahah. And when it was my turn to drive, Dad kept warning me to slow down my speed because I drove too freaking fast. Hahahahaha! Release tension kepeee siaa!!! Then when we were done "racing", a guy confronted and told us there were a lot of accidents occurred by just driving this go-kart. Most common reasons : too fast too furious that they were not able to control and handle the brake. Quite dangerous, actually. Hah. Thank God I was still alive. :P

Nevertheless, GO-KART IS FREAKING AMAZING-RACE UHHH! :D

Then after which, we went to WATER WORLD!! WOOOHOOOOO!

Wave pool stage

Family Raft Ride.

FREAKING AWESOME I TELL YOU!! HAHAHA. Swimmed at Wave Pool Stage from 5 to 7pm and since the place was about to close, we didn't have time to swim at Family Raft Ride and High-Speed Slide. Gosh, missed it. Sigh. But it's okay, at least we got to swim, no not swim, since Mom and I don't bloody know how to freaking swim, haahaha! At least we managed to play with the water and the wave. Syiok, I tell you. -wink-

At night, went to Cowboy town and there's Red Indian Show whereby the people ate the fire, those kind of stuffs. As I was watching them, I felt like my eyes wanted to pop out. Do watch the video below where Mom recorded using the camera.

Then at about 9.15, there was Animal Carnival Show whereby there're various types of animals, like elephants, tiger, etc. And that video was on Mom's phone and I was freaking lazy to upload. And fireworks for the closing. :) To top it of all, I was amazed, mesmerized and fascinated. Like W-O-W. WOW.

At about 10, went to 4d theatre and only Dad and I watched the movie using the specs and Mom was being such a totally coward who didn't want to watch since the movie was entitled "The Haunted Office." Hahah. Yes, I admit I'm coward as well but this was something like, once in a lifetime experience so I just went for it! And damn it, I was screaming my lungs out when the sound effect was a total suspense, the chairs jerking up and down, being "stabbed" in the back and all sorts of stuffs. It was damn scary, hahahah! Mygod. But worthwhile. :)

Then headed to A'Famosa resort hotel and we dozed off. Comparing between Malacca Straits hotel and A'famosa resort hotel, I'd very much prefer Malacca Straits 10 times more. The service was really great. And the breakfast given was like a buffet. We ate to our hearts' content, as many as we wanted and it was really satisfying.

On Sunday, bid goodbye to Malai, our Indian tour guide as were going to JB. And that's the tour guide, at the very left side.

Thanks to him, we've gained more knowledge and know more about Malacca, the culture, food and heritage. I didn't have a sense of regret, not even a speck of it, going to Malacca. Because Malacca is such a nice country to live in. :) Most importantly, we had lots of fun with one another. :)

Went to Pakcik Amin's bungalow in JB. Overnight there.

Those 3 kids on the couch are Pakcik Amin's children. From the left, Zalifah who's 7 or 8 years old. In the center, that's Firdaus who's only 3 years old. He's really effing cute but he's super mischievous and boisterous. I can't stand it. Haha. And at the right, he's the oldest of all the siblings. He's Hidhir and 13 years old. And behind them are his mother, which is my aunt - Cik Leha. Had fun spending time with them and slept over there for a night. :)

On Monday, which was yesterday, went home. So that's how our 4d 3n in Malacca and a day in JB went. It was an enthralling and unforgettable experience. And here I am, once again, in my house, in Singapore which really bores the hell out of me. Okay. KL dah. Tanjong Pinang dah. Malacca dah. What's next? GENTING HIGHLANDS! Wait till my lil sis turns 2 years old. :D

Okay, that's all. Bye!

446th post

2010-01-27T07:54:00.000-08:00

Visited my cousin in Changi Prison earlier in the afternoon. As soon as I saw his face, mixed feelings arose within me in such a way that I was sad but I tried to hold back my tears as much as I could seeing the state my cousin was in now. But at the same time, I was freaking happy and overjoyed because finally, I repeat, like finally, I got to meet him, after a year of his imprisonment. :') When we(me, my mum, lil sis and cousin's daughter) were there, there were so many things to talk about but seems that mase tk mengizinkan, since time was too short for us. Seriously, 20 minutes was never enough. Sigh. But at least, aku syukur sesangat sbb pertemuan kita walau hanya selama untuk beberapa minit sekalipun sekurang-kurangnya dpt melepaskn rindu aku terhadap abg angkatku yg tercinta. :)

And, despite the fact that my cousin's bald, he's really getting even more handsome, gorgeous, younger and... MUSCULAR. Especially when he showed his very big arm muscles. I swear I dropped my jaws wide open at that point of time when he did that. Haha! Baek uh Abg Mimi. Kalahkan The Hulk uh. HAHAHAHAHA!

Well, it felt good having to communicate with him and seeing him laugh with his cheery face, although sometimes I know he's horribly and terribly sad having to stay in that kind of place. But he's a strong guy. I know he is. And he said, he'll be released on 2012, around the month of September, if I'm not mistaken. LIKE 2 MORE FREAKING YEARS! Really, I can't wait. Yes, time flies. I'll be waiting on the day you'll be released. :) And we talked from - the first time my cousin seeing my lil sis who's already 9 months and he named her, "Acom" and "Achombi" - to my cousin saying that I've really changed a lot physically and mentally in a better way - to me breaking my news to cousin about me passing my O's and managed to go into Temasek poly and really, he was effing ecstatic and thankful when he heard that - to a lot of things. So many things to say, but so little time.

I wished I'll be able to talk to you for hours, endless days and nights. Yes we will. One day. When you'll be released.

As soon as the time was up and we had to leave, I told him, "Bon Jovi, Always" and the last word that came out from his mouth before we separated, he said the word, "Always" sincerely from the bottom of his heart while flashing a smile - my favourite smile of his. "Always" , defines a lot of meaning to our life and just the both of us know.

I love my beloved cousin so much. No words can describe how I love him. It's really beyond words. Hope to visit you again soon bro. <3 I'll always pray that you'll be fine and happy by your friends' side every single day. Of course, you know that I dothink of you every day without failing. And I know, that goes the same for you too. You'll always be in my heart. As always. (:

After visiting my cousin, we headed to CGH to visit my aunt again. I hope and I pray that she'll get well soon. It saddens us seeing that you're in critical condition right now. :( Sigh.

Okay, I really have to switch off my laptop now, since I've to do packing now as my family and I are gonna depart to Malacca tomorrow. Won't be away from tomorrow until Tuesday, thus, miss me when I'm gone people. Gonna miss you guys too. I'm gonna update my blog once I'm back!

Malacca, A'famosa resort, here I come!!!!!! :D

Hiatus.

445th post

2010-01-25T08:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not feeling good, emotionally.

As a matter of fact, I'm extremely down now and you are the reason why. You've made a deepest cut in this fragile organ of mine, when I found out you had belonged to another unknown adolescent; your new significant other. The realisation of this feeling - someone suddenly punched in my face and shot and rip my heart with heavy, sharp arrow and shred into thousands of pieces.... Nothing hurts more than that. The first guy whom I had deep, fucking deep indescribable feelings for is now someone's else property. You don't and won't even know how fucking agonised I am now. It hurts me seeing that you've totally forgotten about me. Really, it hurts me. A lot. It's been countless of times that I've tried moving on and letting go, but I just can't. Tell me, why do I still have to think of you that it's hard for me to get you out of my head? WHY IS IT SO FREAKING HARD? That goes to show, I still need you but you? You've long gotten over with me that easily and treat me like someone whom you don't know at all. Someone whom you haven't met before. A stranger.... If only I could rewind back time and have the courage to confess my feelings towards you, we could have been together now. But I guess it's too late. I was so stupid for being selfish. Maybe it was partlyy my fault that we are now like this, for having both of us put in bewilderment situation before.

And I'm crying now. Shedding tears containing gazillions of buckets. I don't know if you're the guy, who's worth every tears that I shed. And they're right, "First love is hard to be forgotten." Although after all how you made me go through, I didn't regret and instead, I thank you for making me have the opportunity of how falling in love with you felt once... No matter how heartbreaking it takes, you still reside here, in my heart.

One day, I hope you realise my love towards you is never fading away. Never.

~~Emotionally breakdown.~~

444th post

2010-01-23T08:08:00.000-08:00

I'm seriously freaking lethargic now. Went out the whole day just now. Early in the morning at about 9am, headed to Lavender with family to get my lil sis and uncle's passports done, since my passport expires next year and that goes the same for my parents as well. I wish Katek and his family will be able to tag along with us to Malacca, because the more the merrier, but since circumstances don't allow them to, in a way that my aunt is in the hospital and Katek has schooling, I guess we'll be going just as a family, inclusive of my Uncle.. I love my family more than anyone else. (: Now, it seems like we're going through thick and thin one another and as a result of of that, it feels as if the bonds among us are even much more stronger and closer. Family is of my utmost priority. <3

Hmm, okay back to the story. As soon as they had their passports done, we walked all the way to Beach Road to have our lunch. We had sup tulang there, yummy. I ate those sup tulangs with I-don't-give-a-bloody-damn-how-dirty-and-red-my-mouth-is-and-I-don't-give-a-damn-how-you-think-of-us-because-we're-the-ones-who-paid-for-it-and-not-you expression. Hah. That's precisely why devouring sup tulangs at home is much better than at outside.

Then headed to SP(oh, speaking of which, one day I really ought to change my e-mail which is sp_rockzz@hotmail.com because people keep wondering and asking me what on earth SP stands for. And it's irritating the wits out of me when they assume the initials stand for Singapore Poly, Singapore Post or whatsoever. I repeat, SP spells out Simple Plan. I made that email when I was in sec 1. Ugh. And yes, Simple Plan still rocks my socks.) - no, not Sun Plaza, but Sultan Plaza. Aimlessly walked around there, and went home.

Then, not long after, Katek asked me to accompany him to visit his Mom, who's my aunt, at CGH. Alahai, baru nk rest, abey nk kene klua lagi. So I did follow him. And I swear I had a long incalculable distance of walking today to an extent that I'm so freaking fatigue that I can hardly walk or even move an inch because my body aches all over and I can barely walk. Ugh. Thanks to Katek especially who made me walk for fucking half an hour straight. Imagine, walking from Tampines inter to CGH. Byk kaw nye, "10 min je jln bey da smpai." Pfffft! -___- But it's okay, I forgave you for that, since I took that as exercise and it's been eons I haven't been exercising anyway.

Then at 9, finally went home. 12 hours of going out. I swear I'm fatigue now. All I feel like doing now is to lay on bed and close my eyes. That's when I think I would be already sleeping just in a sec. I think today, when the total distance that I walked sums up, I may have walked 4.8km already. Really really.

Oh by the way, 5 more days to Malacca!!! A'Famosa resort, here I come!! :D

443rd post

2010-01-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

I've this strange feeling of uneasiness. It keeps me bugging until now and until God-knows-when. This kind of feeling I suddenly get keeps constantly occurring ever since Dad told and exposed to us "something" unexpected that really made us feel terrified and have goosebumps all over. Seriously it's making us overwhelm in worry. )': I wish I can tell what is it, but it's a secret. Yes, I repeat, secret. So knowing me who's trustworthy, I ought to keep it. Sigh. No matter what, I hope and I pray everything will be just fine. ): I don't want to lose them and my loved ones.

Anyway, family and I have decided to go to Melaka this Thursday, since before the release of O's results, Mom has promised to bring us to somewhere. Just anywhere but Singapore. That is if I passed my O's which I thankfully did. Initially she planned to go to Genting, but in the end, when we found out that babies are not allowed to go there as the place is too freaking cold to an extent that my lil sis' breathing would be totally uncontrollable and unstable, thus we decided to choose Melaka for our perfect holiday vacation. -buoyantly singing to myself with a humongous smile on my face and jumping around- YES, WE'RE GOING TO MELAKA. You frigging hear that! Hahahahha.

So tomorrow early in the morning, we'll get our passports done and then, buy luggages and stuffs that are neccessary. I can't wait seriously because it's been eons I didn't go overseas. About a decade, to be exact. Jyeaaaa. Just can't wait to get the bloody hell out of Singapore for once in a long time. Can I say this again? I can barely wait!!!!!! Hahahaha.

By the way, I'm having a headache now. Ugh. Okay bye! Wanna watch Erlin Montel now.

442nd post

2010-01-20T23:48:00.000-08:00

Went to CGH with family to visit my aunt there in the afternoon. She was again, admitted to hospital since she complained that her leg was excruciatingly in pain which one of her toes had been amputated about a month ago as she suffers from diabetes. I really pity her condition right now, knowing that she needs to take care of her family well-being but she had to be admitted to hospital. Sigh. I hope she'll get well as soon as possible. GET WELL SOON OKAY AUNT! Love, your nephew.

So anyway, I remembered Katek and I bumped into Imran magician from Ilusi with his wife(seems like they were visiting the patient(s) ) , and Chef Bob(being the patient - just look at his body. And yeah, I admit I'm kinda overweight too, so I gotta refrain from having too much salt, sugar and oily food before any illnesses begin to attack me. Touchwood.) at CGH the other day. Hahah wth. Why of all the local artistes, they were the ones whom we bumped into? Why not Taufik, why not Didicazli, or um, Faizal? Hahahaha! Well, we should have asked Imran to do magics there, yes in the hospital, since he's a professional magician. But nah, we didn't. Like as if we had the courage to talk to him personally. -__- So just now, I was hoping that I would be able to meet any of the hotstuffs artistes whom I deserve to see. But sadly, no. Hah.

Always, Bon Jovi - a legendary song. ♥

All of a sudden, when I was listening to this song, it made me remind of you. This song is indeed one of our favourites and you always sang it from the bottom of your heart like you seriously meant it. I could still remember the way you sang it, the way you imitated Jon from Bon Jovi singing. When I watched the video above, and as I examined the singer's face and personality deeply, and from his eyes, it makes me feel like that was you, surprisingly. It's like, I realise both of you are similar in terms of how you guys expressed your feelings when you sing deep, meaningful songs, like this song - Always. One thing for sure, when I'm listening to that song, many gazillion fond memories will pop into my head and I'm truthfully loving it. Not to forget your favourite quote from the lyrics, "You see I always have been a fighter, but without you I give up." Yes. You're a fighter. Only both of us know how that sentence personally relates in your life a lot. And in fact, this song is the only song that unintentionally make me visualise your body language / face / expression in my head. Those times when we were together like brothers and sisters, can never be erased from my memory. I swear.

You are what I call, my beloved cousin and my godbrother. And nothing can ever change that. I love you bro. <3

441st post

2010-01-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

When it's you I'm dreaming of, I swear I don't want to wake up.

FUCK! I HAD A SWEET DREAM JUST NOW BUT FUCK, I WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DREAM. Oh god. Why did I have to wake up before the dream could even finish? I swear, it was one of the sweetest-yet-unfinished dreams that I've ever had. :'(

Boy, maybe you've been thinking of me, and that's why you appeared in my dream? Or is it just a coincidence? Or is it, I'm the one who've been missing you a lot to an extent that I could dream of you? Knowing that I just missed you and when it's impossible to bump into you anymore again even though we live five blocks away, meeting you in my dreams is the least that I can ask for. Sigh. When I saw your current photos, I can't recognise you anymore. No matter how hard I try to understand the new you, it seems like I'm unable to do so. I can't. I just can't. This adolescent, whom you've left a scar in her heart, only knows the old you best. You've changed. A lot... Fuck it, you're no longer a decent guy whom I used to know. :'(

I'm aware, I keep brooding over this, over and over again. Because I wonder, why must this happen? I guess, it's fated.

440th post

2010-01-18T10:02:00.000-08:00

Maybe I'm the sort who tends to get along with straightforward people and those who are open, the most. I realise. And to you close friend, you don't even want to tell me about your current life or the situations that you're going through, and it's like, most of the time I'm the one who had to ask or bring up a topic, huh? Well never mind. I'm not disheartened. Why should I, right? So that's why I say, I get along with straightforward people easily with no worries.

Sigh.

Anyway, at last, I've officially signed up for Tumblr! :D So if any of you here has Tumblr, do follow me at http://www.x-sweetreminiscence.tumblr.com/ and I'll follow you in return, for sure. :) I realised that I've spent about 2-3 hours reading those love quotes that later on, I'm so going to continue reading the quotes that I haven't read yet. Seems like I'm addicted to Tumblr already. Ahahah!

By the way, Katek and uncle had just reached my house, since his mom had to go to hospital for some valid reasons. And now we're having fun, lots of laughter and making a lot of noises in my living room in the MIDDLE of the night - which is already 2am now. Obviously we ton as usual. And seriously, they rock my fucking world downside up. Hah. Wa caya sama lu orang! \m/

Okay bye!

439th post

2010-01-17T01:41:00.000-08:00

I feel like creating a Tumblr account, hah. But it doesn't mean that I'm going to abandon Blogger. Because it's the best place for me to confide in whatever feelings that are stored within me. It's not wrong of me to use both at the same time. The intention of me creating Tumblr is because of the love quotes especially, which seems interesting for me to read. And the pictures too. Even if there're people who migrate to Onsugar, or Livejournal, I only stick to one - Blogger. Seemingly the best "boyfriend" website to me. In fact, there are gazillions(okay, not. I'm beyond exaggerating) of posts in this blog which contained bittersweet memories; that there comes to a point of time when I'd take the time to re-read my previous posts and seeing how much things have changed a lot. Emphasise on "a lot".

Example, it was damn funny seeing the way I typed when I was sec 3; it was as though the way I typed was pretty much childish, immature and broken English. As I was reading those long-time-ago posts, it made me laugh my ass off realising that now is the total opposite. Hah. Well, I guess that's part of growing up. Other than that, another reason - the people from my past. It was kinda heartwrenching or a relief, depending on who they were. I don't know why, but to some of them who lived in my past, who broke this fragile organ that left bleeding endlessly, I still even care up till now to an extent that I bother to stalk them. Fuck. Why do I even care? Maybe it's just me. -sigh-

For the time being, the only person whom I miss is my cousin. I just need him. One of the very best human beings I've ever come across in this planet Earth. Apparently he can't make it to my present, but he will, in my future. He'll come back to my life once again, in 5 years' time. And that's when one of the holes in my life will be filled up. For now, whatever that I do or say that involves him, I'll think of him. Whenever I listen to songs that involve him, I'll think of him either. Specifically, I think of him everyday. Thank God there're pictures and videos that are kept in my cellphone because at least, that can lessen my missing towards him and for once, make myself imagine that his presence is somewhere here, inside my house.

I don't know that my missing towards him is this strong.

I just want to say this again to my cousin, and no, I don't get tired nor sick of it. My blog, my say. And because I don't mind if I wanna say this for gazillion times as I seriously mean it. And I want to say this cuz, I miss you more than you deserve. Hoping to visit you as soon as possible.

Hmm. Guess what I did yesterday. Shopping? Nah. Bowling? Nah. Watched movie? Nah. Rotted at home? Yes, bingo. I spent the day watching Bollywood movie in Vasantham(which I hoped the hero was Shah rukh Khan but sadly it wasn't him. Maybe going to watch VCD acted by him later in the afternoon), playing laptop, helping Mama cook, did house chores. I'm such an exemplary maiden, ain't I? -coughs- I wonder when I'll get to bowl again. The last time when I bowled was with parents 4 days ago. And seeing them play made my jaws dropped wide and open. Such professional bowlers they are. Way more expert or shall I say, experienced than me. -gasps- Seems like I'm already addicted to playing bowling. Okay, any peeps up for a game of bowling against me? I'm readyyyyyyyyyy!

Okay, goodbye my beloved diary. I'll update you again when I feel like it. Off to sleep!

P/s : I like Achik Spin. The old him who looked decent, not the current one. And his face reminds me of Abg Man. Kthxbai.

438th post

2010-01-15T01:48:00.000-08:00

I've submitted the application minutes ago. I really really really hope I can get into this particular course which is FBI. No, not Federal Bureau Investigation. But Financial Business Informatics. Hah. I seem to be interested in that course ever since when the consultant or the advisor has explained more about that course in details in TP just now. Seriously it suits me the mostttttt! :)

Okay so, my choices of the 12 courses are ; - (trumpet horn please)

1st - Financial Business Informatics
2nd - Business/logistics and operations management/marketing
3rd - Culinary and Catering management
4th - Leisure and Resort Mangement
5th - Accounting and Finance
6th - Psychology studies
7th - Retail management
8th - Business IT
9th - Business Management
10th - Banking And Financial Services
11th - Business Informatics
12th - Media and Communication Technology

I hope I'll get selected in Temasek Poly. Seriously that place and the facilities are frigging AWEEEEEESOME man! I've this feeling that I'm so gonna like being in that poly very much, that is if they accept me in. Haha. Furthermore, it's near to my house. Only a few bus-stops away; just 10 minutes to reach the destination. The advantage. ;) And I also seriously hope I'll be able to get one of the courses in my top 3 choices. But it's best if I can get the first choice! Although the cut-off point required for that course is 14, and I got 15, well I shall just try my luck. -prays hard- :)

Now I've to wait for the postings results on the 27th of Jan. Good luck to myself, and for the rest as well. Hope we'll be able to get the course that we really want alright. -wink-